Dating in your 30’s…


So before I start let’s just clear the air, yes I am well into my 30’s & yes I am aware of how young I look lol. I definitely needed to make this disclaimer before I went any further because people will literally drop their jaws when I tell them how old I am. Purchasing an alcoholic beverage has got to be the most uncomfortable thing for me. I’ve had people swear me to death that my drivers license is fake *side eye emoji*. Like look buddy if I wanted to lie about my age i’d be 25 FOREVER, old enough to know better but still young enough to screw up lol. *Sigh* gone are the days of my 20’s where the only thing I was concerned about was gas money & which dress i’d be wearing to the club, Ha!

Now i’m worried about my bills being paid on time, working 13+ hrs a day, why my knees are starting to crack, having kids someday & dying alone surrounded by clothes, bags, shoes & a cat that probably hates me. Yes this is a real fear of mine & no I don’t need your judgement lol. Dating in your 30’s is like an extreme sport, exhausting, confusing, game plan required & all around work. By the time you’ve reached your 30’s most people are either getting married & starting families or trying to get married & start a family. With the exception of the ones who’d rather not be bothered with any of that, there’s really no in between. I myself would love to think that marriage & babies are in my near future, however to meet my future husband I have to actually date & that my friends is the hard part *crying laughing emoji*. While my experiences haven’t been compete nightmares some of them have came pretty damn close, I wouldn’t say i’m traumatized but I will say i’m just tired. 

 I’ve dealt with them all; from the guy who wants you to act like a girlfriend but still considers you to be the “homey”, the guy who claims to still be traumatized from his ex who broke his heart in the 7th grade *side eye emoji”, the guy who meets you on a Monday and wants to marry you the following week, the guy who NEVER takes you out & considers “Netflix & Chill” a suitable date, to the oh so infamous “friends with benefits”. I Could easily go on forever but I’ll spare you this time. Dating for me has always been tricky only because I’ve never been the type to date around, I find a guy I like & that’s who gets my attention. In other words I put all my eggs in one basket *no pun intended* lol. Some may argue that this isn’t always the best method (I won’t argue that) but for me it’s always been my method. Has it worked, obviously not but in my defense I have opened up to dating different types of guys. I used to really stick to one type of man tall, dark & handsome but now i’ll take them under 6ft but definitely over 5ft 8in lol. 

Getting dressed for a date is definitely one of the best parts for me, I absolutely love any reason to dress up. I remember one date I went on the guy showed up in basketball shorts and a t shirt, when I got into the car I asked him did I misunderstand him when he said that we would be going to dinner. He told me that I had heard him correctly & we definitely went to a semi dressy restaurant, I cringed the entire time. Here I am looking like I was about to go to a really nice restaurant meanwhile he looked like he was ready to go play basketball *crying laughing emoji*. This particular day I went to brunch with my best friend (who always dresses appropriately) and I got so many compliments on this outfit. Faux leather has been a fall staple for the past few years & hounds tooth is one of my favorite fall prints. This yellow fringe cardigan really stole the show, as it is definitely a statement piece. I purchased it, the bodysuit & the beret from Shein another online site that has decent quality items for very reasonable prices. I had been searching high & low for this style of bootie & finally came across a pair on Shoe Dazzle, the fit is so good and they’re super easy to walk in. The faux leather pants are from H&M and I plan on wearing them 100 more times lol.

Being surrounded by people getting married everyday in your 30’s could become a little overwhelming, however you absolutely shouldn’t get discouraged. I won’t lie, I’ve had my why not me moments but I quickly let them go…don’t ever settle into any negative thoughts. Your thoughts control you but the good news is you have total control over your thoughts. Dating should be fun & informative, the more you date the more you learn. Learn what you like, what you don’t like & even qualities about yourself that could use some tweaking. None of us have this all figured out trust me, you just gotta be willing to put yourself out there & see what works for you. Who knows maybe you’ll meet your future husband in the grocery store next week lol you just never know. Optimism is key! If you do happen to meet him though see if he has a brother…asking for a friend *crying laughing emoji*. Thanks for stopping by and as always no matter what you do, do it with style.

Xx, Quita

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