The single girls guide to the holidays

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Hey girl hey! So, we’re exactly one month away from Christmas and just a few hours away from Thanksgiving which officially kicks off the holiday season! As I’ve gotten older I’ve become a lot less enthusiastic for the holidays but I wouldn’t consider myself to be the grinch either, LOL. For the single woman the holidays can become a tad bit lonely ( I blame all those cheesy Hallmark Christmas movies where the woman falls madly in love on Thanksgiving, is engaged on Christmas & married by New Years Day 🥴). We watch these movies with a glass(s) of wine secretly cursing every fuck boy that has ever wasted our time. No date for Thanksgiving dinner…again (your family is secretly judging you for this😭), no kissing under the mistletoe, no New Years kiss at 12 and while we’re on the subject we might as well include Valentine’s Day too. No chocolate and teddy bear or whatever y’all be accepting as gifts, LOL. I know this can suck but it doesn’t have too…I’ve listed 5 things you can do to ease the holiday scaries 😂. Now unless I meet a tall, dark, handsome, nice smile, good smelling, nicely dressed man in Target today ( in which case I Am no longer single LOL) we’re in this together 😂.

Let’s face it no matter how much you try to hide the holidays are coming so you might as well enjoy them. When your family asks you who you’re bringing to dinner tell them your outfit 😂 because a fabulous outfit is much better than a fuck boy you’re probably only entertaining because you’re bored. That way they won’t be giving you the side eye when you show up next year with a completely different person because that will be your future husband (I’m speaking this over yours as well as my life)! So, here’s my top 5 ways to deal with the stress of the upcoming weeks.

  • Host a Friendsgiving! I’ve always wanted to do this but just haven’t gotten around to it. I don’t know who thought of this but I think it’s a pretty cool idea. We’re certainly thankful for our friends too, especially the ones who listen to us complain over and over again about the same guy. Lol. We’re usually with our families on the actual holiday so why not have a separate shin dig with our friends.
  • Have a secret Santa gift exchange between you and a few close friends. It doesn’t have to be super expensive because it’s always the thought that count. Maybe you and your girls could get all dressed up and go to brunch to exchange gifts. Set a price limit for the gift and toast over bottomless mimosas!
  • Host a Christmas party! Something small and intimate while keeping COVID-19 in mind you can still have something for a small amount of close friends. This can be an ugly sweater party or even a pajama party. My family and I have a Christmas pajama party every year on Christmas Eve. We wear our Christmas pjs, bake cookies, watch Christmas movies and drink spiked egg nog, LOL. It’s a tradition for us!
  • Buy yourself something nice! I know we’re supposed to be shopping for others and we will but don’t forget about yourself! You deserve gifts just as much as the next person. If you don’t have a man to buy you those shoes or that bag you really want then buy 👏🏽 it 👏🏽 for 👏🏽 your 👏🏽 self.! You’ll appreciate it more when you can do it for yourself.
  • Love on yourself! This is especially important during times of increased stress, this can look like different things for different people but it all balls down to self care. Make sure you’re taking extra good care of yourself during the holiday season. On top of everything else going on in the world the holidays can become hectic. From dealing with family members you only see during the holidays, stressing over buying the perfect gift(s), to seeing all the “happy” couples on your socials celebrating together it can get tough BUT you got this!

*Bonus tip*

  • Use all the money you saved from NOT buying a PS5 or whatever these men are asking for these days to book a trip! LOL. Being single during the holidays only really means more money in your pocket and who doesn’t like money? I’ll wait 😂.

Let’s be honest though we all have that one sneaky link who could possibly be bae but you know….options, LOL. Happy Holiday Season!

Until next time

Xx, Quita

Marquita and The City…

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When I saw this t-shirt on Boohoo I knew I had to have it, Sex and The City was like the blueprint for dating; even til this day. We all wanted to be Carrie Bradshaw and raid her closet, she has to be one of the best dressed lead female characters on any given TV series to date, in my opinion. She was always dressed to perfection with a bomb ass girl gang, not to mention her cute New York City brownstone apartment in Manhattan was just so perfect. Between her wardrobe, apartment, job as a writer and amazing friends I was hooked on this show, although a little late to the party (I didn’t really start watching until I was in my early 20’s) once I did I couldn’t stop. It was just so addicting especially being a young woman myself trying to navigate through the dating world…what a time to be alive, LOL. Watching SATC now in my 30’s is like a completely different experience, some of the episodes and topics just hit different when you have a little experience under your belt. If anyone ever asked me which character was I proudly said Carrie with a healthy dose of Samantha. Well I took one of those on-line quizzes that tell you which SATC character you identified with the most and lo & behold the results said Charlotte…*Blank stare* Lol.

I was so sure I had the optimism of Carrie with the sexy wittiness of Samantha but it turns out I’m an idealistic hopeless romantic like Charlotte 🤔, I BEG TO DIFFER. What do these quizzes really know anyway, lol.

Me casually waiting on Mr Big to disappoint me, again 😒

One moment I can totally identify with Charlotte was in the Sex and The City movie when Mr. Big stood Carrie up on their WEDDING DAY….whew chile my blood still boils when I think about that scene. The look Charlotte gave him when he decided to show up afterwards and talk to her in the middle of the street in front of everyone smh, that “NO!” was so intense. Yep I’m that friend, the protector. Speaking of Mr. Big there is just no way anybody can talk about SATC and not mention his name, he was like the guy everyone loved to hate…including Carrie. Their sometimes toxic relationship served as the focal point for all of Carrie’s other relationships, no matter how many men she dated Mr. Big was always her #1….you know the emotionally unavailable guy you can’t seem to get enough of. Ladies, I feel like at one point or another we’ve all experienced a Mr. Big at some point and if you haven’t you will. And if you happen to dodge him altogether congratulations you’re clearly Gods favorite, LOL. I could go into such great detail about this topic alone but I’ll save that for another day. Men, sex, fashion, writing and shoes were all of Carrie’s strong points as she took us along for the ride, through the elite and sometimes crazy dating scene in Manhattan.

When I thought about how I would style this T-shirt I automatically thought, What would Carrie do? I knew if I wanted to channel my inner Carrie Bradshaw I had to glam it up, I knew I had to take a basic T-shirt and make it pop. For this I decided adding accessories would give it the extra push it needed. Headbands have been everywhere and I was happy to jump on the band wagon, chunky headbands were all over the runways during NYFW adorning the models heads. I felt the pearls gave it all the glam it needed and popped against these studded cat eye sunnies. The bag was definitely a great touch with PVC bags clearly having a moment (see what I did there LOL) this one was perfect. Not like the ones we’ve been seeing with the big handle (I have one myself) this one has two chain straps with two pockets in the front and kinda give off a quilted look. When I saw it I immediately knew I would be buying it and with a price tag of around $13 (extra 50% off of sale price) it was a no brainer! It kinda reminds me of a Chanel bag, if Chanel made PVC bags I’d imagine it would look similar to this. I wasn’t a fan of the biker shorts trend until I found a way of wearing them that made sense with my style. These had been hanging in my closet since July just collecting dust, I saw a few streetstyle photos of women wearing them with blazers and bingo! I actually love this trend worn this way, you can easily take a blazer and wear it as a dress, cinch it at the waist with a belt and boom. Stylish but not to trendy, always the vibe.

It’s safe to say Carrie Bradshaw aka Sarah Jessica Parker took fashion to the next level. From her furs, tutu’s, funky headpieces, sexy midriffs, signature name necklace and Manolo Blahnik’s we all could find something to take from here sense of style, And if you couldn’t find anything to like about her wardrobe I’m sure her crazy dating life gave you binge worthy television. I was so intrigued watching her run around New York City being a fierce fashionista all while juggling a hectic dating life, maintaining friendships and being a NYC columnist…the life! I always dreamed of living in NYC and living out my fashion writer dreams, sigh. I vicariously lived through Carrie.

Are you a Sex and The City fan? Which character is your favorite? I think it’s clear Carrie is mine but according to some online quiz I’m more of a Charlotte 🙄, lol. I think SATC will be one of those iconic TV shows we’ll be talking about for many more years, it’s just left such a huge impact. I know it’s one of my favorites for sure! Life hack: Just stay away from Mr Big…if you can help it 😂.

An Icon
Gangs all here

Thanks for stopping by and remember, whatever you do, always do it with style.

Xx, Quita

Bag: Forever 21

Blazer: NastyGal

Sunnies, T-shirt, biker shorts & shoes: Boohoo

Dating in your 30’s…

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So before I start let’s just clear the air, yes I am well into my 30’s & yes I am aware of how young I look lol. I definitely needed to make this disclaimer before I went any further because people will literally drop their jaws when I tell them how old I am. Purchasing an alcoholic beverage has got to be the most uncomfortable thing for me. I’ve had people swear me to death that my drivers license is fake *side eye emoji*. Like look buddy if I wanted to lie about my age i’d be 25 FOREVER, old enough to know better but still young enough to screw up lol. *Sigh* gone are the days of my 20’s where the only thing I was concerned about was gas money & which dress i’d be wearing to the club, Ha!

Now i’m worried about my bills being paid on time, working 13+ hrs a day, why my knees are starting to crack, having kids someday & dying alone surrounded by clothes, bags, shoes & a cat that probably hates me. Yes this is a real fear of mine & no I don’t need your judgement lol. Dating in your 30’s is like an extreme sport, exhausting, confusing, game plan required & all around work. By the time you’ve reached your 30’s most people are either getting married & starting families or trying to get married & start a family. With the exception of the ones who’d rather not be bothered with any of that, there’s really no in between. I myself would love to think that marriage & babies are in my near future, however to meet my future husband I have to actually date & that my friends is the hard part *crying laughing emoji*. While my experiences haven’t been compete nightmares some of them have came pretty damn close, I wouldn’t say i’m traumatized but I will say i’m just tired. 

 I’ve dealt with them all; from the guy who wants you to act like a girlfriend but still considers you to be the “homey”, the guy who claims to still be traumatized from his ex who broke his heart in the 7th grade *side eye emoji”, the guy who meets you on a Monday and wants to marry you the following week, the guy who NEVER takes you out & considers “Netflix & Chill” a suitable date, to the oh so infamous “friends with benefits”. I Could easily go on forever but I’ll spare you this time. Dating for me has always been tricky only because I’ve never been the type to date around, I find a guy I like & that’s who gets my attention. In other words I put all my eggs in one basket *no pun intended* lol. Some may argue that this isn’t always the best method (I won’t argue that) but for me it’s always been my method. Has it worked, obviously not but in my defense I have opened up to dating different types of guys. I used to really stick to one type of man tall, dark & handsome but now i’ll take them under 6ft but definitely over 5ft 8in lol. 

Getting dressed for a date is definitely one of the best parts for me, I absolutely love any reason to dress up. I remember one date I went on the guy showed up in basketball shorts and a t shirt, when I got into the car I asked him did I misunderstand him when he said that we would be going to dinner. He told me that I had heard him correctly & we definitely went to a semi dressy restaurant, I cringed the entire time. Here I am looking like I was about to go to a really nice restaurant meanwhile he looked like he was ready to go play basketball *crying laughing emoji*. This particular day I went to brunch with my best friend (who always dresses appropriately) and I got so many compliments on this outfit. Faux leather has been a fall staple for the past few years & hounds tooth is one of my favorite fall prints. This yellow fringe cardigan really stole the show, as it is definitely a statement piece. I purchased it, the bodysuit & the beret from Shein another online site that has decent quality items for very reasonable prices. I had been searching high & low for this style of bootie & finally came across a pair on Shoe Dazzle, the fit is so good and they’re super easy to walk in. The faux leather pants are from H&M and I plan on wearing them 100 more times lol.

Being surrounded by people getting married everyday in your 30’s could become a little overwhelming, however you absolutely shouldn’t get discouraged. I won’t lie, I’ve had my why not me moments but I quickly let them go…don’t ever settle into any negative thoughts. Your thoughts control you but the good news is you have total control over your thoughts. Dating should be fun & informative, the more you date the more you learn. Learn what you like, what you don’t like & even qualities about yourself that could use some tweaking. None of us have this all figured out trust me, you just gotta be willing to put yourself out there & see what works for you. Who knows maybe you’ll meet your future husband in the grocery store next week lol you just never know. Optimism is key! If you do happen to meet him though see if he has a brother…asking for a friend *crying laughing emoji*. Thanks for stopping by and as always no matter what you do, do it with style.

Xx, Quita