Skinny Black Girl In America

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So, let’s talk….

Happy Women’s History Month! I thought I’d start this month off in particular with a subject very near and dear to me, something I’ve been dealing with for most of my life. I’m sure it’s not hard to see that I am a petite woman, or as most would say “Skinny”. Growing up and all throughout school this was never something that caused me any trouble or was even a concern, I was a perfectly healthy child/teenager who happened to be on the “Skinny” side. It wasn’t until I was around 15 maybe 16 when I started to notice that all of my friends were growing into these bodies that had hips, breast and ass while my body on the other hand still looked the same way it did in the 9th grade. Although it still hadn’t become an issue at that point it was something I did take notice of. As time went on and I entered early adulthood that’s when the insecurities started to come into play, that’s when the insensitivity from others started to happen, that’s when I began to allow my environment to affect me.

I would hear all types of comments and rude remarks regarding my weight, things that I would unintentionally internalize. Being a smaller woman comes with it’s own set of problems BUT being a skinny black woman in the black community is a whole other fight. In a culture where big butts, breast & hips are placed on a pedestal I was trying to find where I fit in, I was trying to feel confident in my own body. I think people forget that body shaming doesn’t just mean you’re calling someone fat or overweight, body shaming is when you make a comment on someone’s weight, period. Whether it be a comment about someone being fat or skinny NEITHER IS OKAY and both can leave the same effect on someone. If it’s not, ‘Girl, do you even eat?” it’s “You’re soooooo tiny, how do you manage to stay so thin??” and while some people don’t mean much harm others are very intentional with their remarks. Rule of thumb, never comment on someone’s weight…it’s insensitive and it’s rude.

I tried EVERYTHING to gain weight and I mean everything. I watched countless Youtube videos on “How to gain weight fast” and while they did give a plethora of options none of them really worked for me. Not to mention the shit became expensive as hell, but I was so determined to gain some pounds (Ass & hips…judge ya mother) that the money didn’t even bother me. I tried it all from protein smoothies, protein shakes, increasing my caloric intake, Maca root, working out (chile I don’t know how y’all do that workout shit) and the infamous Apetamin. I would not recommend that Apetamin stuff to NO ONE, the side effects were just too much to deal with. I have seen women get great results with it but I refuse to drink that stuff again…but to each its own. I was over doing it trying to become something I simply am not and it wasn’t worth it. When it all balls down to it the most important thing you can do is love yourself no matter how big or small you are, no one is perfect and truth be told no one is ever satisfied. I know women who want to be smaller and women who want to be bigger. Women who want to add a little bit here and take a little bit away there. We’re either stuffing our faces trying to pile on calories or trying multiple diets trying to shed some pounds….there’s always something.

Love yourself just the way you’re, you’re beautiful and if you ever need a reminder I’m here to do just that! I still have my days BUT I snap out of that shit fast, I don’t dwell on it. I was made just the way I am supposed to be and so were you. I’ll leave you with this piece from 2016 I wrote on my tumblr (who else had a tumblr?) tumblr was and still is my favorite Social Media account….

It is never okay to ridicule or make insensitive comments about somebody’s body image. If I had a dollar for every time someone has made comments such as: “wow, do you eat?”, “you’re soooooo skinny”, “where are you gonna put all that food?”, “you should eat more”…..etc I’d literally have enough money to pay off my student loans. Understand that you’re never in a position to make comments on something you know nothing about. It is no different than when someone makes a fat joke and everybody laughs, the shit hurts. I have been living with myself long enough to know that I am a petite woman, I do not need you to remind me of this every chance you get. Just because somebody is different from you doesn’t make them unhealthy and more importantly it doesn’t put you in a position to judge. With age came a thicker skin when it comes to this, however I truly do hate when complete fucking strangers take it upon themselves to voice their opinions. Even after I give them the look of death they still will proceed to ask even more insulting questions. In a generation where fat ass’s, big breast and wide hips are glorified, especially in the black community, it is often frowned upon to be on the skinny side. Luckily, I could give a shit less but when you insult me oh then we will have a problem. Just like it’s not okay to say, “He/she is big as a house” it also isn’t okay to say, “He/she looks like a skeleton”. People need to mind their own business and grow the fuck up, period. Worry about your own grass and why it isn’t growing instead of worrying about why somebody look the way they do. Your rude comments could be the last straw for somebody before they snap on you or even themselves. So next time you decide to take it upon yourself to say something in reference to someone’s body weight do me a favor….don’t.

People will have opinions but you know what they say about those 😉. Don’t let anyone convince you that there is something wrong with you because there isn’t, there’s something wrong with them for believing they can tell you what to do with YOUR body! Healthy lifestyle changes are 100% okay but don’t let society convince you that there is something wrong with you, do it because you want to not because you feel like you have too.

Thanks for stopping by and remember, whatever you do, always do it with style…..and confidence!

Signed, A skinny black girl who eats more than an elephant :).

Xx, Quita

So I’ve got a confession, I’ve been cheating….

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If you remember back to last summer when I made a post titled ‘Casually Chic Summer‘ where I wore a slip dress with sneakers, I mentioned in that post how I wanted to get into wearing sneakers; how I’ve had my eye on a couple pairs. Of them these have been my favorite go to sneaker of all time, I have NEVER been a sneaker girl let alone a Jordan wearer but the 1’s have always stood out to me. I think what I like most about them is the sleekness of them, how they can easily be dressed up or down and works either way. The variation of colors is probably my favorite thing about them, over the years they have came in so many different colors from the classic red, white & black ones to the ones I have on, they literally have a ton of color combinations. I knew if was going to spend my coins on a pair of sneakers they had to be perfect, they had to be versatile, they had to be the Jordan 1’s.

I purchased my first pair about three years ago and didn’t purchase another until recently, although I liked the shoe I felt awkward in them LOL only because I am so used to wearing heels that I felt weird in sneakers. In a sense I felt as if I were cheating on my heels with sneakers, hence the title of this post LMAO. I tried to wear them maybe 3 times before I put them back in the box never to be seen again, that is until recently when I started to see them everywhere and remembered the pair I had shoved in the back of my closet. I wasn’t really in love with those so like any shopaholic would do I went online and purchased two new pairs in different colors to start my collection LOL. I was drawn to the boldness of the blue in these and how they could go with a lot of things I own, I’m not really into colors but if I do wear color its something dark for sure!

I don’t know whats gotten into me lately (probably the knees/ankles of a 35 yr old who’s been wearing heels since middle school) but all I’ve been wanting to wear lately is practical shoes, shoes that don’t make my feet hurt and ankles swell. I’ve always loved the whole Sporty Chic style that some girls have down to a science. That effortless, cool girl, sporty look with the right amount of style and a lot of comfort. That’s the direction I was going in with this look. Army fatigue have been having a moment for the last couple of years now and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. For this look I went with the grey & black fatigue pants as opposed to the green ones everybody own (myself included). I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t throw a little glam into the mix, the faux fur I’ve had for awhile now & will continue to wear it until its worn out. Faux fur has got to be my favorite style coat to wear during the winter months, there was a time when I hated coats for the simple fact that they were big and bulky and hid my outfit LOL….however, I’ve had a change of heart. Now I’ll buy the most elaborate coat in the store just to make a subtle statement, the coat is like the appetizer while the outfit is the main course LMAO!

While I’ll always be a heels girl at heart I think its cool to switch things up from time to time, incorporating sneakers into my wardrobe was definitely a much needed change. I’ve noticed a lot of Fashion bloggers and street style stars have wearing sneakers with everything from skirts and jeans to ball gowns and suits, especially during NYFW, which I 100% stan! I cannot imagine running around for hours on end from show to show in 6 inch heels, that literally sounds like torture. Now don’t go and get all excited because this doesn’t cancel out heels all together for me, absolutely fucking not lol. There’s nothing sexier than a nice pair of pumps or thigh high boots (which both happen to be my favorite type of heel) BUT every now and again wearing a pair of sneakers is definitely clutch. I don’t even know who I am right now lol I think my main issue with wearing them often is my actual style, I’m the girl who’s 9 times out of 10 gonna over dress by nature…it’s really just who I am. Trying to make a sneaker work with a chic/glam outfit can sometimes become a little tricky but I’m up for the challenge. Do you have a go to comfortable shoe? Sneaker? I think I’ve found mine….*Goes and buy them in every color because that’s just who I am* LOL

Thanks for stopping by and remember, whatever you do, always do it with style.

Xx, Quita

Happy Bloggerversary

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Hey guys! I cannot believe that it has actually been a little over a year since I started my blog, after all the years of putting it off the first year came & went in the blink of an eye. My first post went live on December 11, 2018..I went into it with no real clue about blogging, how it actually worked or if this was something I could even be good at. I started with what I had (my iPhone 7+, a Chromebook & a vision) and just went for it. I knew I had a passion for fashion/style and was pretty good at writing so combining the two was perfect for me.

Over the past year I’ve been trying to figure out what direction I wanted to take my professional life in (I currently work in healthcare) but I always knew I had a strong interest for all things Fashion/Style so, I wanted to start a blog to see if that held my interest. Believe it or not there are people who live off of blogging (sponsorship’s, brand collaborations etc) alone, it has really become a game changer in recent years. Needless to say my interest is stronger now than it has ever been! It’s been my creative outlet this past year and my interest has grown so much since starting this blog. I knew I needed an outlet to help me express my creativity and a space where I could write and share it with whoever was willing to read it…even if that person was just me, LOL. I’ve received such good feedback over the past year which has been especially inspiring during my moments of doubt. Blogging looks so fun and easy on the outside (it is really fun) but it is far from easy. The main thing I think I’ve had trouble with is consistency, I’ll either go weeks/months without a single blog post or back to back posts…there is really no in between. Not really surprising to me being that I am an all in or all the way out kind of human, LOL.

For this particular shoot I had a completely different outfit in mind (which involved a skirt) but decided to go with this sort of monochromatic look instead. It hasn’t officially become Winter yet according to the calendar, but as far as I’m concerned once the temperature goes below 40 degrees It’s definitely winter in my book, LOL. If you’ve been reading my posts you already know I absolutely DESPISE the winter time, more particularly being cold in any capacity. I’ve been a big fan of Faux Fur for some time now and this Nasty Gal coat was love at first sight! I’m giving rich auntie tease in this entire look, it’s such a vibe! I’ve been wanting to do a monochromatic look and although this isn’t entirely all one color it is close enough, LOL. The blazer and pants are both from Pretty Little Thing and how come none of y’all never told me that their clothes were mediocre at best…or maybe that’s just my opinion. On the web sight the pants looked completely different than the paper thin pants I received in the mail, not to mention the fabrics didn’t match AT ALL. I was completely unhappy with the entire purchase smh but decided to make the best of it.

One thing blogging has taught me is that dedication is truly the key ingredient to accomplishing any goal, nothing happens if nothing happens. If you don’t have the passion or the drive than you don’t have the result(s), period or periodt…whichever one you prefer LOL. We live during a time where everyone has some type of side hustle so it’s easy to get caught up in other people’s lives but focusing on their results won’t get you the results you’re trying to get. Keep up with what you have going on even when you feel like nothing is happening, It’ll all pay off in the long run.

The internet can be a really weird place sometimes, your biggest supporters are often times complete strangers…while the people you’ve known nearly your entire life never even mentions your blog. I’ve always thought that was so strange until I realized not everybody will recognize or celebrate your accomplishments and that’s fine, I’m finally starting to get that now. That’s why I’ve always thought it was important to celebrate yourself and your accomplishments, even the small ones; even if you’re the only one cheering. Learn how to be your own cheerleader and motivation, keep going and grinding even if no one is clapping because trust me they see everything you’re doing even when they claim not too.

Nonetheless year one has been super dope and inspiring, I cannot wait to see what I come up with in the next year. As usual my mind is overflowing with ideas…being a creative with this much creative energy is overwhelming LOL. I’ve learned so much already and look forward to learning a shit ton more, I’m especially excited to watch this blog grow and see where it could take me. I talked about this in a post before but I think the hardest part about starting something new is just starting…that really is it. The process/journey is where you learn all the things you’ll need to progress, but if you don’t start you don’t learn shit. You can watch all the YouTube videos, read the blogs, listen to the Podcasts, so on and so forth and still not learn a fraction of the things you’ll learn from just doing it yourself. Those resources are helpful but experience is priceless. So if you’ve ever read any of my posts, sent me a message, left a comment, shared my photo(s) on Instagram or even the ghost readers, I thank you all! Seriously, it means a lot to me :). Year 1 down! So many more to go, stay tuned!

Me at my future house recording an episode of MTV cribs, LMAO! does that show even come on still? I just gave away my age LOL

Thanks for stopping by and remember, whatever you do, always do it with style.

Xx, Quita