Go hard or go home

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Hey guys! I hope everyone has been well and healthy during these crazy and unprecedented times. I don’t have to state the obvious in saying that 2020 has been INSANE, like absolutely nuts on so many different levels. From a worldwide pandemic (which forced the entire world to shut down) to the truly tragic events that has happened to African Americans across the country, its been pretty hard to wrap my mind around any of it. I haven’t really been in the mood to blog let alone get dressed up and take photos…with everything going on I just felt like there were much more important things to do & talk about.

The only problem with that is once I stopped doing what I enjoyed I became a bit discouraged, like my energy levels were extremely low. The current events had sucked every ounce of creative energy I had left in me. I thought what little energy I did have should be used in trying to make a difference doing my part to help with the senseless acts of violence ( by the hands of the very ones who swore to Protect & Serve), to showing up to work every morning at 4:30 am to care for extremely ill patients….all while trying to stay safe and COVID-19 free. I was going crazy trying to stay sane 😩 & not to mention the fact that I’m an em-path so add that to the mix and I was a complete mess. I felt like I was losing myself trying to stay connected to what was going on around me, I needed to get back to me ASAP. With all that we have going on in the world I think it’s very important to find your piece of peace, to stay connected to what makes you you and for me that is obviously fashion/writing.

I mentioned in an earlier post how fashion/writing has always been my creative outlet, something I turn to whenever I felt stuck. After four months of not writing a single blog post I knew that when I did it would come effortlessly. Sometimes all you need to do is unplug and give yourself some time to recharge. I had this idea to shoot on a basketball court since last year sometime but never got around to it, for this particular post I knew I wanted to do a sporty/chic kind of look with a suit and sneakers. Although Boohoo sent me the wrong color (I ordered a hot pinkish/red suit) I made this color work but when I saw they sent me this pastel pink color instead I was pissed😒.

I wish I could’ve seen my face when I opened the package lol I was like, “The hell am I supposed to do with this Easter pink suit…?!” 😂. Add that to the fact that I hate pink and well I was beyond annoyed, however I was not about to go through the whole process of sending it back to the UK after waiting damn near two weeks to receive the package. So, I coughed it up as a loss and kept it moving. If you’ve got true style you’ll make a garbage bag look good 😉.

I threw on the sports bra, fanny pack, Cortez Nike classics & Nike socks for a little sporty razzle dazzle and viola the look was complete. On this day it had to be at least 90+ degrees in the middle of the day so imagine how hot I was during this shoot! I was so irritable and wanted to get it over with ASAP, then after roasting in the hot sun I looked at the pictures and couldn’t find a single one I liked, lmao. I think I was just over it that day because I looked at them the next day and had a change of heart. After damn near passing out from the heat somebody was gonna see these pics…lol.

While I don’t know when/if things will ever go back to the way they were I’ve still done a little summer shopping. I’m not sure where I’m headed to but I’ve got a slip dress(s) on hand just in case, lol. I know where I live we’re considered to be in phase two of reopening which does include outdoor dining. I’m the girl who loves a good brunch situation that includes endless mimosas with my girls. I’m all for being home by 9:00 and sleep by 10:00 lol…what can I say I’m in my mid thirties 👀. Oh yeah I forgot to mention I turned a year older during my absence, although I was supposed to be barefoot on an island sipping frozen margaritas while dancing to reggae with somebody’s son my bday weekend was an absolute blast! A few hiccups here & there (I lost my phone in an Uber, literally tracked the Uber man down to retrieve it, my bday picnic got completely rained out and I had a complete meltdown) with the help of friends & family I really did enjoy my weekend 😆.

Although 2020 has been an absolute shit show thus far I haven’t cancelled this year! Pressure makes diamonds and I’m not ready to throw the towel in & neither should you. We’ve spent a lot of time sitting home which I believe is prime time to complete any goals you may have had. We complain so much about not having time to do things and now more than ever all we have is time, so why not use it wisely. I’ve been in an uncomfortable space as of late but I think it’s all because of growth, growth always feels uncomfortable in the beginning. I can hardly believe we’re already in the last half of the year, time has flown by so fast! What have you done with your down time? Let’s all commit to those goals and finish up the last half of the year strong. I don’t know about you but I’ve got a couple things up my sleeve I’m working on and I don’t plan on letting myself down. I’m not sure when I’ll write another post, could be tomorrow, next week, next month or next year but I will be back lol. In the meantime lets keep showing up for ourselves & one another….I think more than ever we need each other to get through these wild ass times. Let’s keep our foots on their necks and our minds on our goals. Until next time…

Xx. Quita

P.S. Justice for Breona Taylor

Skinny Black Girl In America

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So, let’s talk….

Happy Women’s History Month! I thought I’d start this month off in particular with a subject very near and dear to me, something I’ve been dealing with for most of my life. I’m sure it’s not hard to see that I am a petite woman, or as most would say “Skinny”. Growing up and all throughout school this was never something that caused me any trouble or was even a concern, I was a perfectly healthy child/teenager who happened to be on the “Skinny” side. It wasn’t until I was around 15 maybe 16 when I started to notice that all of my friends were growing into these bodies that had hips, breast and ass while my body on the other hand still looked the same way it did in the 9th grade. Although it still hadn’t become an issue at that point it was something I did take notice of. As time went on and I entered early adulthood that’s when the insecurities started to come into play, that’s when the insensitivity from others started to happen, that’s when I began to allow my environment to affect me.

I would hear all types of comments and rude remarks regarding my weight, things that I would unintentionally internalize. Being a smaller woman comes with it’s own set of problems BUT being a skinny black woman in the black community is a whole other fight. In a culture where big butts, breast & hips are placed on a pedestal I was trying to find where I fit in, I was trying to feel confident in my own body. I think people forget that body shaming doesn’t just mean you’re calling someone fat or overweight, body shaming is when you make a comment on someone’s weight, period. Whether it be a comment about someone being fat or skinny NEITHER IS OKAY and both can leave the same effect on someone. If it’s not, ‘Girl, do you even eat?” it’s “You’re soooooo tiny, how do you manage to stay so thin??” and while some people don’t mean much harm others are very intentional with their remarks. Rule of thumb, never comment on someone’s weight…it’s insensitive and it’s rude.

I tried EVERYTHING to gain weight and I mean everything. I watched countless Youtube videos on “How to gain weight fast” and while they did give a plethora of options none of them really worked for me. Not to mention the shit became expensive as hell, but I was so determined to gain some pounds (Ass & hips…judge ya mother) that the money didn’t even bother me. I tried it all from protein smoothies, protein shakes, increasing my caloric intake, Maca root, working out (chile I don’t know how y’all do that workout shit) and the infamous Apetamin. I would not recommend that Apetamin stuff to NO ONE, the side effects were just too much to deal with. I have seen women get great results with it but I refuse to drink that stuff again…but to each its own. I was over doing it trying to become something I simply am not and it wasn’t worth it. When it all balls down to it the most important thing you can do is love yourself no matter how big or small you are, no one is perfect and truth be told no one is ever satisfied. I know women who want to be smaller and women who want to be bigger. Women who want to add a little bit here and take a little bit away there. We’re either stuffing our faces trying to pile on calories or trying multiple diets trying to shed some pounds….there’s always something.

Love yourself just the way you’re, you’re beautiful and if you ever need a reminder I’m here to do just that! I still have my days BUT I snap out of that shit fast, I don’t dwell on it. I was made just the way I am supposed to be and so were you. I’ll leave you with this piece from 2016 I wrote on my tumblr (who else had a tumblr?) tumblr was and still is my favorite Social Media account….

It is never okay to ridicule or make insensitive comments about somebody’s body image. If I had a dollar for every time someone has made comments such as: “wow, do you eat?”, “you’re soooooo skinny”, “where are you gonna put all that food?”, “you should eat more”…..etc I’d literally have enough money to pay off my student loans. Understand that you’re never in a position to make comments on something you know nothing about. It is no different than when someone makes a fat joke and everybody laughs, the shit hurts. I have been living with myself long enough to know that I am a petite woman, I do not need you to remind me of this every chance you get. Just because somebody is different from you doesn’t make them unhealthy and more importantly it doesn’t put you in a position to judge. With age came a thicker skin when it comes to this, however I truly do hate when complete fucking strangers take it upon themselves to voice their opinions. Even after I give them the look of death they still will proceed to ask even more insulting questions. In a generation where fat ass’s, big breast and wide hips are glorified, especially in the black community, it is often frowned upon to be on the skinny side. Luckily, I could give a shit less but when you insult me oh then we will have a problem. Just like it’s not okay to say, “He/she is big as a house” it also isn’t okay to say, “He/she looks like a skeleton”. People need to mind their own business and grow the fuck up, period. Worry about your own grass and why it isn’t growing instead of worrying about why somebody look the way they do. Your rude comments could be the last straw for somebody before they snap on you or even themselves. So next time you decide to take it upon yourself to say something in reference to someone’s body weight do me a favor….don’t.

People will have opinions but you know what they say about those 😉. Don’t let anyone convince you that there is something wrong with you because there isn’t, there’s something wrong with them for believing they can tell you what to do with YOUR body! Healthy lifestyle changes are 100% okay but don’t let society convince you that there is something wrong with you, do it because you want to not because you feel like you have too.

Thanks for stopping by and remember, whatever you do, always do it with style…..and confidence!

Signed, A skinny black girl who eats more than an elephant :).

Xx, Quita

Why you should stop procrastinating TODAY

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So I’m just gonna start off by saying I am probably one of the biggest procrastinators you’ve ever met, no exaggeration lol. I’m not sure what it is or why I do it so often, but it definitely has to be one of my least favorable traits. Lets take my blog for example; I clearly remember having a conversation on New Years Eve way back in either 2013 or 2014 with my friend about starting a blog, I’d just made my Instagram page and was formally introduced to blogging. Before Instagram I wasn’t really to familiar with blogging, only blog I really read was Necole Kane’s old blog Necolebitchie which was a music/fashion/gossip type of blog, but blogs strictly dedicated to fashion were all but foreign to me.

I literally waited about 5 years before I finally started this blog, FIVE WHOLE YEARS…that is NOT okay. I procrastinated soooooooo much to the point where nobody really wanted to hear nothing else about this blog I was supposed to start years ago. I was overflowing with ideas just letting time get away simply because of procrastination. I made myself believe that the internet didn’t need another fashion blogger which ultimately resulting in me putting it off year after year. I always knew I wanted to start one and I’d done the research and read enough blogs to know the basics on how to start but procrastination and fear won every time. I’d say things like; What if no one reads it? Where do I even start? I am NOT a computer person, how will I design the site? Who’s gonna take my pictures? What if no one reads it?…Again lol. I had every excuse you could think of, all the while just wasting time I could’ve used to at least start the damn thing. Out of everything I’ve done so far I’ve found that starting was the hardest part, I get a little mixed up sometimes with the analytics of the site but the hardest part has been starting….well that and taking my own photos out in public, LOL. I follow a lot of fashion bloggers and I hear people say all the time how in the beginning they struggled with everything from taking photos, gaining an audience to staying consistent, it wasn’t until years and years of trial and error that they finally got the hang of it. I also hear people say often how their blogs didn’t really gain any attention from brands or money for that matter until after being a blogger for several years. I just sit back and think about all the time I’ve wasted and cringe, procrastination will have you out here really missing out on opportunities all because you’re too scared to try. Unfortunately procrastination hasn’t just held me back from starting this blog but it has hindered me in other areas of my life as well. Before you know it days turn to weeks, weeks turn to months and months turn to years and you’ll look up and still haven’t done any of which you set out to do. The craziest part is that 9 times out of 10 you’re 100% capable of doing whatever it is you have your heart set on you but just let procrastination get the best of you.

Aside from procrastination I didn’t want to start from scratch, being at the bottom in a sense was such a turn off to me. I think it had a lot to do with what I was seeing everyday, as I mentioned before I follow a lot of fashion bloggers and I’ve witnessed their growth, growth that looked like it happened overnight. Obviously this isn’t the case but me from the outside looking in it sure did look like it, seeing that made me think of me being a beginner and I was not interested. I wanted to start and get the ball rolling right away and that is definitely not how this works. For some maybe that is the case but for most that simply isn’t it at all. You see people’s success and forget that you don’t know what part of their journey they’re on, maybe they’ve made 100 mistakes before reaching this level, maybe they’ve had their blog for 5+ years…you really never know what someone else’s story is. My favorite stories are the ones who quit their 9-5’s to pursue blogging full time, sounds like an absolute dream to me but it also sounds like a lot of preparation, dedication and hard work. All that to say you have to start somewhere, being a beginner is not a bad thing and with blogging being so common nowadays it’s so much easier to start now then say 5-6 years ago. There are plenty of how to tutorials and cheat sheets you just have to be willing to try.

So let’s get into this look…if you aren’t already aware I am a huge houndstooth fan, it has been a favorite of mine for so many years now. I purchased this sweater last year from Boohoo and was immediately drawn to the colors and fit of the sweater. When I received it in the mail I was in love, the quality is so good not to mention the comfort. I have really sensitive skin and a lot of times fuzzy sweaters irritate my skin so bad to the point where when I take them off my arms and chest are completely red and itchy 😩, thankfully that wasn’t the case with this sweater. The skirt I purchased from Nasty Gal and baybeeee let me tell you how I am obsessed with this here skirt! The color alone is just so perfect, this rich mustard color just screams chic to me. Definitely a color that cane be worn all year round versus maybe a lilac that we usually only see during the Spring. If you’ve been keeping up with my blog you already know my love for silk/satin slip dresses and this is just the skirt version of that 😂, clearly I’m not letting them go. I’ve also been into comfort lately so pairing this skirt with sneakers was a winning combination for me, skirts with sneakers have been the wave lately and I am so into it…my feet haven’t been happier, LOL.

I can’t believe that I am coming up on a year since I launched my blog, although we may not always realize it time really does fly by. I may not had started when I originally planned to but the important part is that I started, I might not understand it now but I’m sure I started when it was supposed to happen. We don’t always get to choose when something will happen we just gotta believe that it will. I cannot believe that we’re in the last 3 months of this decade 🤯, I really don’t understand where the time has gone! 25-35 yrs old has been mind boggling to say the least but this decade owes me nothing, I am so ready for the next 10yrs and to leave procrastinating behind!!

What’s something you’ve been putting off for days, weeks, months, years even? Whatever it is take it from me and do it soon, better yet start right NOW! Whatever was the first thing that came to your mind, yeah that. Don’t let another 10 years go by wishing you would’ve done something differently. You will never be 100% ready for anything in life so your best bet is to just start with what you have and learn as you go. Experience has and always will be the best teacher so what do you really have to loose? Aside from your dream(s)…don’t let fear/procrastination win. I think Nike said it best when they said, JUST DO IT…lol.

Thanks for stopping by and remember, whatever you do, always do it with style.

…..and do it NOW😆

Xx, Quita