Skinny Black Girl In America

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So, let’s talk….

Happy Women’s History Month! I thought I’d start this month off in particular with a subject very near and dear to me, something I’ve been dealing with for most of my life. I’m sure it’s not hard to see that I am a petite woman, or as most would say “Skinny”. Growing up and all throughout school this was never something that caused me any trouble or was even a concern, I was a perfectly healthy child/teenager who happened to be on the “Skinny” side. It wasn’t until I was around 15 maybe 16 when I started to notice that all of my friends were growing into these bodies that had hips, breast and ass while my body on the other hand still looked the same way it did in the 9th grade. Although it still hadn’t become an issue at that point it was something I did take notice of. As time went on and I entered early adulthood that’s when the insecurities started to come into play, that’s when the insensitivity from others started to happen, that’s when I began to allow my environment to affect me.

I would hear all types of comments and rude remarks regarding my weight, things that I would unintentionally internalize. Being a smaller woman comes with it’s own set of problems BUT being a skinny black woman in the black community is a whole other fight. In a culture where big butts, breast & hips are placed on a pedestal I was trying to find where I fit in, I was trying to feel confident in my own body. I think people forget that body shaming doesn’t just mean you’re calling someone fat or overweight, body shaming is when you make a comment on someone’s weight, period. Whether it be a comment about someone being fat or skinny NEITHER IS OKAY and both can leave the same effect on someone. If it’s not, ‘Girl, do you even eat?” it’s “You’re soooooo tiny, how do you manage to stay so thin??” and while some people don’t mean much harm others are very intentional with their remarks. Rule of thumb, never comment on someone’s weight…it’s insensitive and it’s rude.

I tried EVERYTHING to gain weight and I mean everything. I watched countless Youtube videos on “How to gain weight fast” and while they did give a plethora of options none of them really worked for me. Not to mention the shit became expensive as hell, but I was so determined to gain some pounds (Ass & hips…judge ya mother) that the money didn’t even bother me. I tried it all from protein smoothies, protein shakes, increasing my caloric intake, Maca root, working out (chile I don’t know how y’all do that workout shit) and the infamous Apetamin. I would not recommend that Apetamin stuff to NO ONE, the side effects were just too much to deal with. I have seen women get great results with it but I refuse to drink that stuff again…but to each its own. I was over doing it trying to become something I simply am not and it wasn’t worth it. When it all balls down to it the most important thing you can do is love yourself no matter how big or small you are, no one is perfect and truth be told no one is ever satisfied. I know women who want to be smaller and women who want to be bigger. Women who want to add a little bit here and take a little bit away there. We’re either stuffing our faces trying to pile on calories or trying multiple diets trying to shed some pounds….there’s always something.

Love yourself just the way you’re, you’re beautiful and if you ever need a reminder I’m here to do just that! I still have my days BUT I snap out of that shit fast, I don’t dwell on it. I was made just the way I am supposed to be and so were you. I’ll leave you with this piece from 2016 I wrote on my tumblr (who else had a tumblr?) tumblr was and still is my favorite Social Media account….

It is never okay to ridicule or make insensitive comments about somebody’s body image. If I had a dollar for every time someone has made comments such as: “wow, do you eat?”, “you’re soooooo skinny”, “where are you gonna put all that food?”, “you should eat more”…..etc I’d literally have enough money to pay off my student loans. Understand that you’re never in a position to make comments on something you know nothing about. It is no different than when someone makes a fat joke and everybody laughs, the shit hurts. I have been living with myself long enough to know that I am a petite woman, I do not need you to remind me of this every chance you get. Just because somebody is different from you doesn’t make them unhealthy and more importantly it doesn’t put you in a position to judge. With age came a thicker skin when it comes to this, however I truly do hate when complete fucking strangers take it upon themselves to voice their opinions. Even after I give them the look of death they still will proceed to ask even more insulting questions. In a generation where fat ass’s, big breast and wide hips are glorified, especially in the black community, it is often frowned upon to be on the skinny side. Luckily, I could give a shit less but when you insult me oh then we will have a problem. Just like it’s not okay to say, “He/she is big as a house” it also isn’t okay to say, “He/she looks like a skeleton”. People need to mind their own business and grow the fuck up, period. Worry about your own grass and why it isn’t growing instead of worrying about why somebody look the way they do. Your rude comments could be the last straw for somebody before they snap on you or even themselves. So next time you decide to take it upon yourself to say something in reference to someone’s body weight do me a favor….don’t.

People will have opinions but you know what they say about those 😉. Don’t let anyone convince you that there is something wrong with you because there isn’t, there’s something wrong with them for believing they can tell you what to do with YOUR body! Healthy lifestyle changes are 100% okay but don’t let society convince you that there is something wrong with you, do it because you want to not because you feel like you have too.

Thanks for stopping by and remember, whatever you do, always do it with style…..and confidence!

Signed, A skinny black girl who eats more than an elephant :).

Xx, Quita

Why you should stop procrastinating TODAY

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So I’m just gonna start off by saying I am probably one of the biggest procrastinators you’ve ever met, no exaggeration lol. I’m not sure what it is or why I do it so often, but it definitely has to be one of my least favorable traits. Lets take my blog for example; I clearly remember having a conversation on New Years Eve way back in either 2013 or 2014 with my friend about starting a blog, I’d just made my Instagram page and was formally introduced to blogging. Before Instagram I wasn’t really to familiar with blogging, only blog I really read was Necole Kane’s old blog Necolebitchie which was a music/fashion/gossip type of blog, but blogs strictly dedicated to fashion were all but foreign to me.

I literally waited about 5 years before I finally started this blog, FIVE WHOLE YEARS…that is NOT okay. I procrastinated soooooooo much to the point where nobody really wanted to hear nothing else about this blog I was supposed to start years ago. I was overflowing with ideas just letting time get away simply because of procrastination. I made myself believe that the internet didn’t need another fashion blogger which ultimately resulting in me putting it off year after year. I always knew I wanted to start one and I’d done the research and read enough blogs to know the basics on how to start but procrastination and fear won every time. I’d say things like; What if no one reads it? Where do I even start? I am NOT a computer person, how will I design the site? Who’s gonna take my pictures? What if no one reads it?…Again lol. I had every excuse you could think of, all the while just wasting time I could’ve used to at least start the damn thing. Out of everything I’ve done so far I’ve found that starting was the hardest part, I get a little mixed up sometimes with the analytics of the site but the hardest part has been starting….well that and taking my own photos out in public, LOL. I follow a lot of fashion bloggers and I hear people say all the time how in the beginning they struggled with everything from taking photos, gaining an audience to staying consistent, it wasn’t until years and years of trial and error that they finally got the hang of it. I also hear people say often how their blogs didn’t really gain any attention from brands or money for that matter until after being a blogger for several years. I just sit back and think about all the time I’ve wasted and cringe, procrastination will have you out here really missing out on opportunities all because you’re too scared to try. Unfortunately procrastination hasn’t just held me back from starting this blog but it has hindered me in other areas of my life as well. Before you know it days turn to weeks, weeks turn to months and months turn to years and you’ll look up and still haven’t done any of which you set out to do. The craziest part is that 9 times out of 10 you’re 100% capable of doing whatever it is you have your heart set on you but just let procrastination get the best of you.

Aside from procrastination I didn’t want to start from scratch, being at the bottom in a sense was such a turn off to me. I think it had a lot to do with what I was seeing everyday, as I mentioned before I follow a lot of fashion bloggers and I’ve witnessed their growth, growth that looked like it happened overnight. Obviously this isn’t the case but me from the outside looking in it sure did look like it, seeing that made me think of me being a beginner and I was not interested. I wanted to start and get the ball rolling right away and that is definitely not how this works. For some maybe that is the case but for most that simply isn’t it at all. You see people’s success and forget that you don’t know what part of their journey they’re on, maybe they’ve made 100 mistakes before reaching this level, maybe they’ve had their blog for 5+ years…you really never know what someone else’s story is. My favorite stories are the ones who quit their 9-5’s to pursue blogging full time, sounds like an absolute dream to me but it also sounds like a lot of preparation, dedication and hard work. All that to say you have to start somewhere, being a beginner is not a bad thing and with blogging being so common nowadays it’s so much easier to start now then say 5-6 years ago. There are plenty of how to tutorials and cheat sheets you just have to be willing to try.

So let’s get into this look…if you aren’t already aware I am a huge houndstooth fan, it has been a favorite of mine for so many years now. I purchased this sweater last year from Boohoo and was immediately drawn to the colors and fit of the sweater. When I received it in the mail I was in love, the quality is so good not to mention the comfort. I have really sensitive skin and a lot of times fuzzy sweaters irritate my skin so bad to the point where when I take them off my arms and chest are completely red and itchy 😩, thankfully that wasn’t the case with this sweater. The skirt I purchased from Nasty Gal and baybeeee let me tell you how I am obsessed with this here skirt! The color alone is just so perfect, this rich mustard color just screams chic to me. Definitely a color that cane be worn all year round versus maybe a lilac that we usually only see during the Spring. If you’ve been keeping up with my blog you already know my love for silk/satin slip dresses and this is just the skirt version of that 😂, clearly I’m not letting them go. I’ve also been into comfort lately so pairing this skirt with sneakers was a winning combination for me, skirts with sneakers have been the wave lately and I am so into it…my feet haven’t been happier, LOL.

I can’t believe that I am coming up on a year since I launched my blog, although we may not always realize it time really does fly by. I may not had started when I originally planned to but the important part is that I started, I might not understand it now but I’m sure I started when it was supposed to happen. We don’t always get to choose when something will happen we just gotta believe that it will. I cannot believe that we’re in the last 3 months of this decade 🤯, I really don’t understand where the time has gone! 25-35 yrs old has been mind boggling to say the least but this decade owes me nothing, I am so ready for the next 10yrs and to leave procrastinating behind!!

What’s something you’ve been putting off for days, weeks, months, years even? Whatever it is take it from me and do it soon, better yet start right NOW! Whatever was the first thing that came to your mind, yeah that. Don’t let another 10 years go by wishing you would’ve done something differently. You will never be 100% ready for anything in life so your best bet is to just start with what you have and learn as you go. Experience has and always will be the best teacher so what do you really have to loose? Aside from your dream(s)…don’t let fear/procrastination win. I think Nike said it best when they said, JUST DO IT…lol.

Thanks for stopping by and remember, whatever you do, always do it with style.

…..and do it NOW😆

Xx, Quita

Workspace revamped

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If you’re anything like me you hate clutter, there’s nothing worse than trying to create in a disorderly atmosphere. I take my creative process pretty seriously and need to have some kind of zen while doing so. While I love a quaint coffee shop just as much as the next person, sometimes I want to be able to just sit in the comfort of my own home and work. I was in need of a new desk so I decided to make a space in home where I could peacefully create. After a few D.I.Y You Tube videos I came up with this space and couldn’t be more pleased with it! Between Walmart, Amazon, Dollar tree and Five and below I did it all for a little over $100 and honestly that’s the best part.

So let me be very clear I HATE putting stuff together, like really dislike it. I’m not reading no instructions and I’m not using no tools lmao, although pretty simple this desk/chair had me wanting to pull my hair out. I don’t know if this is standard for all instructions or what but the instructions provided were just pictures, that’s it lol. Now at first I thought it was a good idea to use pictures but as time went on and my patience wore out I soon realized it was a bad idea, a very bad idea. Between all the screws & the wrong size screwdriver I was literally over it…and to think the reviews all said it was super easy to put together, yeah okay lol. Although a few hiccups here and there I was able to put both the chair and desk together without either pieces collapsing, lol. The chair is a tiny bit wobbly and one of the shelves is slightly off balance BUT I got it done :).

I purchased this photo of the Brooklyn bridge from Five and Below thinking it was A LOT bigger than it actually was…when I received it in the mail I was far from happy and completely confused. For $5 I guess you couldn’t expect much…The picture barely covered a quarter of my wall which led me to getting even more creative (we’ll get to that in a second) lol. I purchased My Himalayan salt lamp from Walmart back in January and it’s definitely one of my favorite things in my home. It has so many great benefits including; mood enhancement and raising energy levels. I keep it on all the time unless I am not home, I even keep a small one on my desk at work. I purchased the faux monstera leaves from Amazon because am I really a blogger if I don’t have some up? Lol, it’s definitely the official plant of bloggers!Now when I received the small photo of the Brooklyn bridge I knew I had to put something else on the wall. I’ve been obsessed with Z-Galleries glitter wall art for awhile now but the price tag was less than pleasing. Well, You Tube had just the cure for that lol for about $25 and some creativity you can have your very own Z-Gallerie inspired wall art for a fraction of the price! I really enjoyed making these, I’ve been wanting to get into painting for some time now and this was the perfect gateway project. Now of course I had yet another hiccup trying to hang these 😩, one of them wouldn’t stick AT ALL and the other one I couldn’t get it to be 100% straight! Tip: just get someone to help you, it’ll save you the headache. Now if you know me you know I’m not really into flowers but I’ve always loved how sleek and chic the Maison des Fleurs flower boxes are, if nothing else they serve as nice decor. This diy was pretty simple and turned out so good! I’m already thinking of making a gold and white one.

I made these coffee table books from random dollar tree books, they were pretty simple to make. A quick google search to find the logos I wanted and boom! The mug was a complete fail gone right, I originally had glitter all over the front of the mug BUT after it dried some of it started to peel, so to speed up the process I peeled off even more and this is what I was left with lol. I liked how it looked up against my painting, the two compliment each other well. The candle I did purchase from Bath & Body Works and whew chile, this candle smells so good! If I had to describe it I’d say tall, dark and handsome lol it reminds me of a subtle cologne scent. Definitely not overpowering at all with hints of mahogany, a very sexy scent.Who else gets excited about stationary items as much as I do? Lol, I really have about a dozen little notebooks laying around, all of which serve a different purpose. Pictured in these photos are my planner, blog book, manifestation journal & dream journal. I’m a writer what can I say…Fun Fact: I carry a notebook around with me EVERYWHERE. If I don’t have at least one I feel weird lol like when I have a small purse that I cannot fit a notebook into i feel like I’m missing something. I know my writers will all understand.This is where the magic happens….LOL

I used to really be into DIY projects years ago back when my patience was a little better lol, I’m really thinking about getting back into it though. Do you have a space in your home specifically dedicated to you? I think we all should! A meditation corner, office space, even an area where you work out. If not you should definitely do it, it’s so beneficial. Put your own little spin on it and watch how you’re gonna feel! It’s definitely a game changer. Thanks for stopping by and remember, whatever you do, always do it with style.

Xx, Quita

Creating your own lane

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When I finally decided to start my blog I brainstormed for awhile all the things I wanted to incorporate into it to make it true to me. What parts of myself should I include to differentiate this blog from all the others? This, for awhile, had me stumped…not because I didn’t know what I wanted to say but I didn’t know how much to share. We’re all multifaceted people with so many different sides and perspectives…it finally hit me that the secret ingredient was me. Not a single soul can do me better than I can and the same goes for everyone else. I think we get so caught up with how will we stand out that we forget that being yourself is simply enough, authenticity is always in style. I’m not a flower girl, at all, but sunflowers have held a special place in my heart for some time now. There’s something so bright and cheerful about having them around. Since I’m always struggling with hand placement during my shoots…I decided to add them to these photos for aesthetic purposes and for something to do with my hands lol. One thing I was 100% certain of was that I didn’t want this to just be a blog where I post pretty outfit photos and that’s it. I wanted to create a space where I could be myself freely, without limitations and judgement. I know there will be some people who judge regardless, and that’s not my problem, but I didn’t want to limit myself because of that. Yes, this is primarily a fashion blog but it’s important to me to still be able to have real conversations while connecting with my readers. I wanted to be able to write and be relatable all while looking fly.

Speaking of real lets talk about these little Debbie back rolls 🤦🏽‍♀️idk if it was the top or the way I was positioned but yeah… there they’re. I don’t know how to edit out back rolls so y’all gonna get them today lol. Real ass bish give a fuck about a back roll ( In my City Girls voice)

Lately I’ve become a big fan of A-Line skirts, with them being so comfortable and versatile there’s not much to dislike. The length has got to be my favorite thing about them, they’re not to long or short making them the perfect all occasions skirt. Me standing at 5 2′ definitely can appreciate a skirt that compliments my height. Long skirts can be such a hassle when they’re constantly dragging on the ground while short skirts are altogether a headache…both styles are cute but for a more relaxed fit I go with the A-Line style. This skirt in particular is so comfy and chic, the material is so lightweight making it the perfect skirt for the summer heat. I purchased both the skirt and bodysuit from Forever 21, prior to this I hadn’t shopped there in nearly a year. For me Forever 21 is either hit or miss, this time around definitely a hit but I’ve had enough misses to last a while lol. Style Tip: Do not buy their jeans, ever….Thank me later 😉. Forever 21 is one of those quick fashion places but good quality items are sometimes hard to come by. The bodysuit is super comfy and the material is a dream, I already want to rewear it again with some type of denim. It’s a little revealing while exposing lots of side boob but side boob ain’t never hurt nobody! That is if you’re apart of the B-cup crew lol otherwise I’d advise against it.

Being a creative can sometimes be mentally exhausting, there’s always an idea for something constantly running through my mind. Always trying to come up with new ways to create content while staying true to myself. It’s gotten to the point where sometimes I feel like I may go crazy if I don’t get these ideas out, even if it’s just jotting it down on a piece of paper so I don’t forget. Creative tip: When something comes to mind write it down as soon as you can, I cannot tell you how many times I’ve come up with ideas and totally forgot them by the time I thought about it later. I hate that! My notes in my phone are filled with ideas, I can always refer back to them when I’m in a creative block. In this creative field I think it’s so important to remember why you started and remain grounded, everyday won’t be a good one. Some days you’ll get a lot of views some days you’ll get two, it’s just the way things are. You’ll come to a couple bumps in the road but nothing you can’t get over. The good part about staying in your lane is there’s no traffic, so you can move at your own pace; stay consistent but don’t rush. You don’t have to worry about keeping up with the speed limit because there is none, you determine how slow or fast you’ll go. I’ve found quality over quantity to be the best strategy when it comes to blogging. This week I posted two posts, it maybe awhile before that happens again lol but my point is this is my space, my pace. Don’t let the internet rush you, there’s nothing worse then promoting crappy content just to keep up with the Jonses. I know I haven’t been doing this long but I do appreciate the ones who do read it and even message me complimenting me, y’all the shit! Some people will support you others will pretend they don’t see you, either way keep doing your thing. Hard work and consistency always pays off in the end, it’s your lane, let them catch up eventually. Thanks for stopping by and remember, whatever you do, always do it with style.

Xx, Quita