Skinny Black Girl In America

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So, let’s talk….

Happy Women’s History Month! I thought I’d start this month off in particular with a subject very near and dear to me, something I’ve been dealing with for most of my life. I’m sure it’s not hard to see that I am a petite woman, or as most would say “Skinny”. Growing up and all throughout school this was never something that caused me any trouble or was even a concern, I was a perfectly healthy child/teenager who happened to be on the “Skinny” side. It wasn’t until I was around 15 maybe 16 when I started to notice that all of my friends were growing into these bodies that had hips, breast and ass while my body on the other hand still looked the same way it did in the 9th grade. Although it still hadn’t become an issue at that point it was something I did take notice of. As time went on and I entered early adulthood that’s when the insecurities started to come into play, that’s when the insensitivity from others started to happen, that’s when I began to allow my environment to affect me.

I would hear all types of comments and rude remarks regarding my weight, things that I would unintentionally internalize. Being a smaller woman comes with it’s own set of problems BUT being a skinny black woman in the black community is a whole other fight. In a culture where big butts, breast & hips are placed on a pedestal I was trying to find where I fit in, I was trying to feel confident in my own body. I think people forget that body shaming doesn’t just mean you’re calling someone fat or overweight, body shaming is when you make a comment on someone’s weight, period. Whether it be a comment about someone being fat or skinny NEITHER IS OKAY and both can leave the same effect on someone. If it’s not, ‘Girl, do you even eat?” it’s “You’re soooooo tiny, how do you manage to stay so thin??” and while some people don’t mean much harm others are very intentional with their remarks. Rule of thumb, never comment on someone’s weight…it’s insensitive and it’s rude.

I tried EVERYTHING to gain weight and I mean everything. I watched countless Youtube videos on “How to gain weight fast” and while they did give a plethora of options none of them really worked for me. Not to mention the shit became expensive as hell, but I was so determined to gain some pounds (Ass & hips…judge ya mother) that the money didn’t even bother me. I tried it all from protein smoothies, protein shakes, increasing my caloric intake, Maca root, working out (chile I don’t know how y’all do that workout shit) and the infamous Apetamin. I would not recommend that Apetamin stuff to NO ONE, the side effects were just too much to deal with. I have seen women get great results with it but I refuse to drink that stuff again…but to each its own. I was over doing it trying to become something I simply am not and it wasn’t worth it. When it all balls down to it the most important thing you can do is love yourself no matter how big or small you are, no one is perfect and truth be told no one is ever satisfied. I know women who want to be smaller and women who want to be bigger. Women who want to add a little bit here and take a little bit away there. We’re either stuffing our faces trying to pile on calories or trying multiple diets trying to shed some pounds….there’s always something.

Love yourself just the way you’re, you’re beautiful and if you ever need a reminder I’m here to do just that! I still have my days BUT I snap out of that shit fast, I don’t dwell on it. I was made just the way I am supposed to be and so were you. I’ll leave you with this piece from 2016 I wrote on my tumblr (who else had a tumblr?) tumblr was and still is my favorite Social Media account….

It is never okay to ridicule or make insensitive comments about somebody’s body image. If I had a dollar for every time someone has made comments such as: “wow, do you eat?”, “you’re soooooo skinny”, “where are you gonna put all that food?”, “you should eat more”…..etc I’d literally have enough money to pay off my student loans. Understand that you’re never in a position to make comments on something you know nothing about. It is no different than when someone makes a fat joke and everybody laughs, the shit hurts. I have been living with myself long enough to know that I am a petite woman, I do not need you to remind me of this every chance you get. Just because somebody is different from you doesn’t make them unhealthy and more importantly it doesn’t put you in a position to judge. With age came a thicker skin when it comes to this, however I truly do hate when complete fucking strangers take it upon themselves to voice their opinions. Even after I give them the look of death they still will proceed to ask even more insulting questions. In a generation where fat ass’s, big breast and wide hips are glorified, especially in the black community, it is often frowned upon to be on the skinny side. Luckily, I could give a shit less but when you insult me oh then we will have a problem. Just like it’s not okay to say, “He/she is big as a house” it also isn’t okay to say, “He/she looks like a skeleton”. People need to mind their own business and grow the fuck up, period. Worry about your own grass and why it isn’t growing instead of worrying about why somebody look the way they do. Your rude comments could be the last straw for somebody before they snap on you or even themselves. So next time you decide to take it upon yourself to say something in reference to someone’s body weight do me a favor….don’t.

People will have opinions but you know what they say about those 😉. Don’t let anyone convince you that there is something wrong with you because there isn’t, there’s something wrong with them for believing they can tell you what to do with YOUR body! Healthy lifestyle changes are 100% okay but don’t let society convince you that there is something wrong with you, do it because you want to not because you feel like you have too.

Thanks for stopping by and remember, whatever you do, always do it with style…..and confidence!

Signed, A skinny black girl who eats more than an elephant :).

Xx, Quita

Workspace revamped

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If you’re anything like me you hate clutter, there’s nothing worse than trying to create in a disorderly atmosphere. I take my creative process pretty seriously and need to have some kind of zen while doing so. While I love a quaint coffee shop just as much as the next person, sometimes I want to be able to just sit in the comfort of my own home and work. I was in need of a new desk so I decided to make a space in home where I could peacefully create. After a few D.I.Y You Tube videos I came up with this space and couldn’t be more pleased with it! Between Walmart, Amazon, Dollar tree and Five and below I did it all for a little over $100 and honestly that’s the best part.

So let me be very clear I HATE putting stuff together, like really dislike it. I’m not reading no instructions and I’m not using no tools lmao, although pretty simple this desk/chair had me wanting to pull my hair out. I don’t know if this is standard for all instructions or what but the instructions provided were just pictures, that’s it lol. Now at first I thought it was a good idea to use pictures but as time went on and my patience wore out I soon realized it was a bad idea, a very bad idea. Between all the screws & the wrong size screwdriver I was literally over it…and to think the reviews all said it was super easy to put together, yeah okay lol. Although a few hiccups here and there I was able to put both the chair and desk together without either pieces collapsing, lol. The chair is a tiny bit wobbly and one of the shelves is slightly off balance BUT I got it done :).

I purchased this photo of the Brooklyn bridge from Five and Below thinking it was A LOT bigger than it actually was…when I received it in the mail I was far from happy and completely confused. For $5 I guess you couldn’t expect much…The picture barely covered a quarter of my wall which led me to getting even more creative (we’ll get to that in a second) lol. I purchased My Himalayan salt lamp from Walmart back in January and it’s definitely one of my favorite things in my home. It has so many great benefits including; mood enhancement and raising energy levels. I keep it on all the time unless I am not home, I even keep a small one on my desk at work. I purchased the faux monstera leaves from Amazon because am I really a blogger if I don’t have some up? Lol, it’s definitely the official plant of bloggers!Now when I received the small photo of the Brooklyn bridge I knew I had to put something else on the wall. I’ve been obsessed with Z-Galleries glitter wall art for awhile now but the price tag was less than pleasing. Well, You Tube had just the cure for that lol for about $25 and some creativity you can have your very own Z-Gallerie inspired wall art for a fraction of the price! I really enjoyed making these, I’ve been wanting to get into painting for some time now and this was the perfect gateway project. Now of course I had yet another hiccup trying to hang these 😩, one of them wouldn’t stick AT ALL and the other one I couldn’t get it to be 100% straight! Tip: just get someone to help you, it’ll save you the headache. Now if you know me you know I’m not really into flowers but I’ve always loved how sleek and chic the Maison des Fleurs flower boxes are, if nothing else they serve as nice decor. This diy was pretty simple and turned out so good! I’m already thinking of making a gold and white one.

I made these coffee table books from random dollar tree books, they were pretty simple to make. A quick google search to find the logos I wanted and boom! The mug was a complete fail gone right, I originally had glitter all over the front of the mug BUT after it dried some of it started to peel, so to speed up the process I peeled off even more and this is what I was left with lol. I liked how it looked up against my painting, the two compliment each other well. The candle I did purchase from Bath & Body Works and whew chile, this candle smells so good! If I had to describe it I’d say tall, dark and handsome lol it reminds me of a subtle cologne scent. Definitely not overpowering at all with hints of mahogany, a very sexy scent.Who else gets excited about stationary items as much as I do? Lol, I really have about a dozen little notebooks laying around, all of which serve a different purpose. Pictured in these photos are my planner, blog book, manifestation journal & dream journal. I’m a writer what can I say…Fun Fact: I carry a notebook around with me EVERYWHERE. If I don’t have at least one I feel weird lol like when I have a small purse that I cannot fit a notebook into i feel like I’m missing something. I know my writers will all understand.This is where the magic happens….LOL

I used to really be into DIY projects years ago back when my patience was a little better lol, I’m really thinking about getting back into it though. Do you have a space in your home specifically dedicated to you? I think we all should! A meditation corner, office space, even an area where you work out. If not you should definitely do it, it’s so beneficial. Put your own little spin on it and watch how you’re gonna feel! It’s definitely a game changer. Thanks for stopping by and remember, whatever you do, always do it with style.

Xx, Quita

10 things I wish I knew before turning 30…

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  • With my 35TH birthday just around the corner I thought I’d round up a list of things I wish I knew before I actually turned 30. When I think about turning 35 I immediately think, 5 years til 40, and literally start to panic lol. Not that I’m afraid of getting old or am dreading it altogether but it’s really like, wow little ole me is gonna be 40 soon. I start to think of all the things I wanna do, need to do, wanted to do, or just haven’t done (yet) and start to worry that my time is running low. There’s this thing people have with growing old (especially women) that gets them worked up about multiple things, including the concept of time. Since entering the “Dirty 30″ years of my life I’ve learned so much about myself! My 20’s were the decade of fun, mistakes, several friendships (most of which have ended), love, heartbreak, experiences, partying, drinking, reinventing myself (I’m sure I’ve had every hair color you can think of), finding myself, losing myself & finding myself again. My 20’s was a roller coaster ride to say the least lol but I can truly say I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Now that I’ve survived the first 4 yrs of my 30’s I have some things I wish someone would’ve told me before 6/25/2014 lol. Where are all my Cancers at?! We get a bad rap but we’re definitely the best sign in the zodiac 😆.
  • 1. All the partying and drinking will rarely happen, if ever. Now one night of partying requires 3-5 business days of recuperating and 3 solid days of uninterrupted sleep. Just the thought of chugging down vodka makes my stomach queasy. Wine will be your best friend and bedtime is 10 pm lol.

    2. Men will grow older in age but that’s about it lol. I think I read somewhere that men don’t mentally mature until 43 yrs old…yep, let that sink in.

    3. People will enter your life for seasons and leave once their time is up, let them. Your sanity is worth more than history.

    4. Your stomach cannot tolerate all the junk you choose to eat lol your diet will need to change.

    5. Shit will happen, things will fall a part, sometimes the failure is just a lesson in disguise. Don’t be so hard on yourself.

    6. Turning 30 doesn’t mean your life automatically falls into place, you’re still learning every single day. Your journey doesn’t stop, chin up it gets better.

    7. Turning 30 doesn’t automatically come with the husband and kids. It will happen when it’s meant to happen, relax you’re NOT running out of time.

    8. It’s all down hill from here lol nah but seriously your body will start to age 😭. Your feet will need good support shoes, your legs wont be as swift as they used to be and everything makes you tired…everything lol.

    9. The things you chose to ignore in your twenties will show up again and again and again until you acknowledge them. They will show up in different ways and in different people to teach you the same lesson(s), don’t ignore the signs. Procrastination is the devil.

    10. Last but certainly not least….play time is over! Lol…Now I don’t mean that in the literal sense (as we all know what they say about all work and no play) but your future is depending on today’s decisions. Don’t dedicate all of your time obsessing over the future but don’t neglect it either, focus on today but don’t forget about tomorrow.

    Birthdays have always been super special to me because of the opportunity to reflect on your past year. Although to many turning a year older comes with a plethora of worries and anxiety for me it’s a huge blessing. In my twenties it was all about parties and fun to bring in my birthday, now I’d rather do more low key things. Speaking of which, my birthday is a few days away and I still have no plans…as we get older birthdays definitely are just another day 😂.

    How do you guys celebrate your birthday? Do you have something big with a bunch of friends/family or do you do something more intimate and low key?? Any last minute ideas I could possibly borrow? Let me know down below! I can’t believe another year has come and gone just that fast. Time sure does fly when you hit them 30’s Lol.

    Here’s to another trip around the moon! 34 it’s been real ✌🏽

    Thanks for stopping by and as always, whatever you do, do it with style.

    Xx, Quita

    *Dress, shoes and fanny pack all from Boohoo. Com*