Skinny Black Girl In America

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So, let’s talk….

Happy Women’s History Month! I thought I’d start this month off in particular with a subject very near and dear to me, something I’ve been dealing with for most of my life. I’m sure it’s not hard to see that I am a petite woman, or as most would say “Skinny”. Growing up and all throughout school this was never something that caused me any trouble or was even a concern, I was a perfectly healthy child/teenager who happened to be on the “Skinny” side. It wasn’t until I was around 15 maybe 16 when I started to notice that all of my friends were growing into these bodies that had hips, breast and ass while my body on the other hand still looked the same way it did in the 9th grade. Although it still hadn’t become an issue at that point it was something I did take notice of. As time went on and I entered early adulthood that’s when the insecurities started to come into play, that’s when the insensitivity from others started to happen, that’s when I began to allow my environment to affect me.

I would hear all types of comments and rude remarks regarding my weight, things that I would unintentionally internalize. Being a smaller woman comes with it’s own set of problems BUT being a skinny black woman in the black community is a whole other fight. In a culture where big butts, breast & hips are placed on a pedestal I was trying to find where I fit in, I was trying to feel confident in my own body. I think people forget that body shaming doesn’t just mean you’re calling someone fat or overweight, body shaming is when you make a comment on someone’s weight, period. Whether it be a comment about someone being fat or skinny NEITHER IS OKAY and both can leave the same effect on someone. If it’s not, ‘Girl, do you even eat?” it’s “You’re soooooo tiny, how do you manage to stay so thin??” and while some people don’t mean much harm others are very intentional with their remarks. Rule of thumb, never comment on someone’s weight…it’s insensitive and it’s rude.

I tried EVERYTHING to gain weight and I mean everything. I watched countless Youtube videos on “How to gain weight fast” and while they did give a plethora of options none of them really worked for me. Not to mention the shit became expensive as hell, but I was so determined to gain some pounds (Ass & hips…judge ya mother) that the money didn’t even bother me. I tried it all from protein smoothies, protein shakes, increasing my caloric intake, Maca root, working out (chile I don’t know how y’all do that workout shit) and the infamous Apetamin. I would not recommend that Apetamin stuff to NO ONE, the side effects were just too much to deal with. I have seen women get great results with it but I refuse to drink that stuff again…but to each its own. I was over doing it trying to become something I simply am not and it wasn’t worth it. When it all balls down to it the most important thing you can do is love yourself no matter how big or small you are, no one is perfect and truth be told no one is ever satisfied. I know women who want to be smaller and women who want to be bigger. Women who want to add a little bit here and take a little bit away there. We’re either stuffing our faces trying to pile on calories or trying multiple diets trying to shed some pounds….there’s always something.

Love yourself just the way you’re, you’re beautiful and if you ever need a reminder I’m here to do just that! I still have my days BUT I snap out of that shit fast, I don’t dwell on it. I was made just the way I am supposed to be and so were you. I’ll leave you with this piece from 2016 I wrote on my tumblr (who else had a tumblr?) tumblr was and still is my favorite Social Media account….

It is never okay to ridicule or make insensitive comments about somebody’s body image. If I had a dollar for every time someone has made comments such as: “wow, do you eat?”, “you’re soooooo skinny”, “where are you gonna put all that food?”, “you should eat more”…..etc I’d literally have enough money to pay off my student loans. Understand that you’re never in a position to make comments on something you know nothing about. It is no different than when someone makes a fat joke and everybody laughs, the shit hurts. I have been living with myself long enough to know that I am a petite woman, I do not need you to remind me of this every chance you get. Just because somebody is different from you doesn’t make them unhealthy and more importantly it doesn’t put you in a position to judge. With age came a thicker skin when it comes to this, however I truly do hate when complete fucking strangers take it upon themselves to voice their opinions. Even after I give them the look of death they still will proceed to ask even more insulting questions. In a generation where fat ass’s, big breast and wide hips are glorified, especially in the black community, it is often frowned upon to be on the skinny side. Luckily, I could give a shit less but when you insult me oh then we will have a problem. Just like it’s not okay to say, “He/she is big as a house” it also isn’t okay to say, “He/she looks like a skeleton”. People need to mind their own business and grow the fuck up, period. Worry about your own grass and why it isn’t growing instead of worrying about why somebody look the way they do. Your rude comments could be the last straw for somebody before they snap on you or even themselves. So next time you decide to take it upon yourself to say something in reference to someone’s body weight do me a favor….don’t.

People will have opinions but you know what they say about those 😉. Don’t let anyone convince you that there is something wrong with you because there isn’t, there’s something wrong with them for believing they can tell you what to do with YOUR body! Healthy lifestyle changes are 100% okay but don’t let society convince you that there is something wrong with you, do it because you want to not because you feel like you have too.

Thanks for stopping by and remember, whatever you do, always do it with style…..and confidence!

Signed, A skinny black girl who eats more than an elephant :).

Xx, Quita

Oh Fall…

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When the mornings are cooler, the days become shorter, neutrals are everywhere, the leaves start changing colors and everything is pumpkin spiced it can only mean one thing, Fall has arrived! I don’t know about you guys but the fashionista in me is doing a dance for joy right now. I remember way back in my twenties…(wow seems so long ago lol) when Summer was EVERYTHING to me, but over recent years that has definitely took a turn. Back when I preferred short skirts, super high heels and everything to be skin tight…now I want long grandma skirts, loosely fitted clothing and a nice bootie with a decent heel. I will definitely still wear a 6 inch heel BUT there has to be a good reason for doing so, or an occasion where there will be plenty of sitting room, LOL. Fall has always been the season for Fashion, with New York Fashion Week starting of the month of September I don’t see that changing anytime soon. I haven’t really done much shopping so far and the little bit I did do were all blazers and suits, for some reason I can’t seem to get into much else. I’m sure no one is surprised to see me in yet another slip dress lol, I actually purchased this one back in July and knew the moment I received it I’d be wearing it in the Fall; as opposed to Summer. As I mentioned before that’s the beauty of these they’re so versatile and can easily be layered to achieve whatever look you’re aiming for. This blazer in particular is probably my favorite of all the ones I own; the print, the fit, the pockets (I couldn’t seem to keep my hands out of them in these photos), the colors, the quality, it’s really just an all around good blazer. When I think of Fall, specifically Fall fashion, I automatically think of blazers lol, although they can be worn all year round Fall is when they shine the most…in my opinion. They’ve been on every ones Fall Must Haves list and for good reason too. Since Fall is the official season for layering I think blazers are the perfect layering item. They can be worn alone, with t-shirts, dressy blouses, button ups, chunky knit sweaters, dresses, underneath coats and still give off a chic pulled together look. I personally think everyone should own at least 3 different blazers; a black one, a neutral colored one & one with some kind of print like the one I’m wearing. These booties have been in my closet for years now but I can’t really remember where I purchased them from. I do know it’s between Just Fab or Shoe Dazzle, do any of you guys still have a subscription with them? From what I can remember their shoes were decent and these are at least 4 yrs old, they’re pretty good quality and have held up over the years. The heel is kinda chunky and not to high making them super comfortable and easy to walk in. With cowboy style boots making a comeback this kinda reminded me of them, or maybe this is about as close as I’ll get to wearing cowboy boots again, lol. I remember back when I did have a pair and they were cool then but now I don’t see myself revisiting that trend. But whatever floats your boat, style is all about your own personal flavor.

I rant and rave about Fall all Summer long then never seem to be quite ready once Fall arrives 😂, it’s like I’m ready but I’m not ready, ready, if that makes any sense. It goes from being 90+ degrees outside to 60 degrees with little to no warning lol, while I welcome the drop with open arms I’m always a little confused when Fall first begins. I’ll start the day off wearing a sweater, blazer, hat, scarf and light jacket then be sweating by noon lol. I guess that’s the beauty of layering, having the option of removing some clothes so you don’t burn up. Once the temperatures drop and stay there is when I’m most comfortable, until then my mind be all over the place.

I’m most excited for wearing real clothes this Fall LOL, Hot Girl Summer was cute but Bad Bish Fall has arrived and we are not taking things lightly. What are you most excited for this Fall? Pumpkin spiced lattes? (Unfortunately my stomach won’t allow me to indulge in them anymore) Halloween? Cool cozy nights? Y’all ready for cuffing season, or nah? LOL! Is Fall your favorite season like mine? Let me know down below. Thanks for stopping by and remember, whatever you do, always do it with style.

Xx, Quita

Casually Chic Summer

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From the moment I saw Rihanna wearing a slip dress out in public, with a wine glass in her hand, I was immediately intrigued…with her of course, but more so with the idea of wearing a nightie out in public. I couldn’t decide if I was more impressed with what she was wearing or the fact that she had a wine glass in her hand? Lol, nonetheless I’ve been obsessed with slip dresses ever since, I’ve been obsessed with Rihanna ever since ‘Pon’ de Replay’…where are all my day one Rihanna fans at? I’ve seen this trend all over social media and even dabbled in it a little myself. Have you read my, ’10 things I wish I knew before turning 30′ post? I wore one in that post too.What I love most about them is the versatility of them, they can be worn for so many different occasions. Am I going to bed? Out to dinner? Going to see bae? Is there even a bae?…Lol. Am I running errands? Going to Target? Attending an outdoor event? The possibilities are endless! The versatility gives you so many different styling options as well, they’re the type of garment that could easily be dressed up or down. This time around I chose to style it down and when I say this has to be one of my favorite looks of the summer, I mean just that. I am absolutely all about comfy, chic and practical styling. There was a time where you wouldn’t catch me dead in a pair of sneakers, now I am looking into purchasing a couple pairs. I’ve never been into flats let alone sneakers but there are a few I’ve been eyeing for awhile now.I purchased this pair from Go Jane and was completely in love with them when I received them. I hesitated while purchasing them simply because they weren’t a “name brand” but quickly stopped myself dead in my tracks…style has NEVER been about labels so what was I actually tripping about? After trying them on I immediately cursed myself for waiting so long to wear sneakers lol my feet gave me an instant sigh of relief. Since then I’ve worn them at least 4 times, we’re practically inseparable at this point lol. I knew that the next time I wore a slip dress I wanted to wear it with sneakers. I’ve been so into wearing dresses/skirts with sneakers lately…it’s like the perfect mix of edgy, chic & tomboy all wrapped up into one look. I’m so here for it!If you’re new here you may not know about my hat obsession but hats are hands down my absolute favorite accessory, fedoras in particular. During the Fall and Winter you really can’t keep me out of them, they’re a staple piece in my wardrobe. I’ve been on the hunt for a good quality fedora for years now, most of mine have been from Forever 21, H&M & lately Target. I want to invest in a good quality one this Fall, I wear mine a lot so I need one that can handle a lot of wear and last for years. I’ve been searching for a white, straw fedora with a wide black band for for the longest now, I love a good white hat during the summer months. I came across this one on Forever 21 on the humble and it definitely didn’t disappoint, it gives you that I’m on vacation in Cuba serving looks vibe.I don’t normally pay to much attention to trends but this one has probably been my favorite one this summer. I remember my grandmother would make me wear slips under my skirts/dresses as a child and I always hated it, now if I could I would wear one everyday lol. They’re just so effortlessly chic. Summer 2019 is winding down and I for one am so happy to see it go, it’s been a pretty bland summer for me. The most wonderful time of the year is quickly approaching guys and I couldn’t be more excited lol. Fall is creeping in and I’m sure all my fashion lovers can understand my level of excitement. Although my wardrobe is still being curated I’m happy to welcome the cooler temperatures. While shooting these photos I literally felt like my back was on fire 😩, it had to be 90+ degrees outside and the humidity was out of this world! It got to the point where I changed my location to a spot with more shade because I simply could not.

Side note: I took these photos by myself with people watching lol and I didn’t give a single fuck. Lol, if you know me you know how I feel about this, but I pushed right on through. Who else is counting down until Fall?? I know I am! Thanks for stopping by and remember, whatever you do, always do it with style.

Xx, Quita

Sunnies: Shein

Dress: Boohoo

Shoes: Go Jane

Bag & Hat: Forever 21