Skinny Black Girl In America

Blog

So, let’s talk….

Happy Women’s History Month! I thought I’d start this month off in particular with a subject very near and dear to me, something I’ve been dealing with for most of my life. I’m sure it’s not hard to see that I am a petite woman, or as most would say “Skinny”. Growing up and all throughout school this was never something that caused me any trouble or was even a concern, I was a perfectly healthy child/teenager who happened to be on the “Skinny” side. It wasn’t until I was around 15 maybe 16 when I started to notice that all of my friends were growing into these bodies that had hips, breast and ass while my body on the other hand still looked the same way it did in the 9th grade. Although it still hadn’t become an issue at that point it was something I did take notice of. As time went on and I entered early adulthood that’s when the insecurities started to come into play, that’s when the insensitivity from others started to happen, that’s when I began to allow my environment to affect me.

I would hear all types of comments and rude remarks regarding my weight, things that I would unintentionally internalize. Being a smaller woman comes with it’s own set of problems BUT being a skinny black woman in the black community is a whole other fight. In a culture where big butts, breast & hips are placed on a pedestal I was trying to find where I fit in, I was trying to feel confident in my own body. I think people forget that body shaming doesn’t just mean you’re calling someone fat or overweight, body shaming is when you make a comment on someone’s weight, period. Whether it be a comment about someone being fat or skinny NEITHER IS OKAY and both can leave the same effect on someone. If it’s not, ‘Girl, do you even eat?” it’s “You’re soooooo tiny, how do you manage to stay so thin??” and while some people don’t mean much harm others are very intentional with their remarks. Rule of thumb, never comment on someone’s weight…it’s insensitive and it’s rude.

I tried EVERYTHING to gain weight and I mean everything. I watched countless Youtube videos on “How to gain weight fast” and while they did give a plethora of options none of them really worked for me. Not to mention the shit became expensive as hell, but I was so determined to gain some pounds (Ass & hips…judge ya mother) that the money didn’t even bother me. I tried it all from protein smoothies, protein shakes, increasing my caloric intake, Maca root, working out (chile I don’t know how y’all do that workout shit) and the infamous Apetamin. I would not recommend that Apetamin stuff to NO ONE, the side effects were just too much to deal with. I have seen women get great results with it but I refuse to drink that stuff again…but to each its own. I was over doing it trying to become something I simply am not and it wasn’t worth it. When it all balls down to it the most important thing you can do is love yourself no matter how big or small you are, no one is perfect and truth be told no one is ever satisfied. I know women who want to be smaller and women who want to be bigger. Women who want to add a little bit here and take a little bit away there. We’re either stuffing our faces trying to pile on calories or trying multiple diets trying to shed some pounds….there’s always something.

Love yourself just the way you’re, you’re beautiful and if you ever need a reminder I’m here to do just that! I still have my days BUT I snap out of that shit fast, I don’t dwell on it. I was made just the way I am supposed to be and so were you. I’ll leave you with this piece from 2016 I wrote on my tumblr (who else had a tumblr?) tumblr was and still is my favorite Social Media account….

It is never okay to ridicule or make insensitive comments about somebody’s body image. If I had a dollar for every time someone has made comments such as: “wow, do you eat?”, “you’re soooooo skinny”, “where are you gonna put all that food?”, “you should eat more”…..etc I’d literally have enough money to pay off my student loans. Understand that you’re never in a position to make comments on something you know nothing about. It is no different than when someone makes a fat joke and everybody laughs, the shit hurts. I have been living with myself long enough to know that I am a petite woman, I do not need you to remind me of this every chance you get. Just because somebody is different from you doesn’t make them unhealthy and more importantly it doesn’t put you in a position to judge. With age came a thicker skin when it comes to this, however I truly do hate when complete fucking strangers take it upon themselves to voice their opinions. Even after I give them the look of death they still will proceed to ask even more insulting questions. In a generation where fat ass’s, big breast and wide hips are glorified, especially in the black community, it is often frowned upon to be on the skinny side. Luckily, I could give a shit less but when you insult me oh then we will have a problem. Just like it’s not okay to say, “He/she is big as a house” it also isn’t okay to say, “He/she looks like a skeleton”. People need to mind their own business and grow the fuck up, period. Worry about your own grass and why it isn’t growing instead of worrying about why somebody look the way they do. Your rude comments could be the last straw for somebody before they snap on you or even themselves. So next time you decide to take it upon yourself to say something in reference to someone’s body weight do me a favor….don’t.

People will have opinions but you know what they say about those 😉. Don’t let anyone convince you that there is something wrong with you because there isn’t, there’s something wrong with them for believing they can tell you what to do with YOUR body! Healthy lifestyle changes are 100% okay but don’t let society convince you that there is something wrong with you, do it because you want to not because you feel like you have too.

Thanks for stopping by and remember, whatever you do, always do it with style…..and confidence!

Signed, A skinny black girl who eats more than an elephant :).

Xx, Quita

So I’ve got a confession, I’ve been cheating….

Blog

If you remember back to last summer when I made a post titled ‘Casually Chic Summer‘ where I wore a slip dress with sneakers, I mentioned in that post how I wanted to get into wearing sneakers; how I’ve had my eye on a couple pairs. Of them these have been my favorite go to sneaker of all time, I have NEVER been a sneaker girl let alone a Jordan wearer but the 1’s have always stood out to me. I think what I like most about them is the sleekness of them, how they can easily be dressed up or down and works either way. The variation of colors is probably my favorite thing about them, over the years they have came in so many different colors from the classic red, white & black ones to the ones I have on, they literally have a ton of color combinations. I knew if was going to spend my coins on a pair of sneakers they had to be perfect, they had to be versatile, they had to be the Jordan 1’s.

I purchased my first pair about three years ago and didn’t purchase another until recently, although I liked the shoe I felt awkward in them LOL only because I am so used to wearing heels that I felt weird in sneakers. In a sense I felt as if I were cheating on my heels with sneakers, hence the title of this post LMAO. I tried to wear them maybe 3 times before I put them back in the box never to be seen again, that is until recently when I started to see them everywhere and remembered the pair I had shoved in the back of my closet. I wasn’t really in love with those so like any shopaholic would do I went online and purchased two new pairs in different colors to start my collection LOL. I was drawn to the boldness of the blue in these and how they could go with a lot of things I own, I’m not really into colors but if I do wear color its something dark for sure!

I don’t know whats gotten into me lately (probably the knees/ankles of a 35 yr old who’s been wearing heels since middle school) but all I’ve been wanting to wear lately is practical shoes, shoes that don’t make my feet hurt and ankles swell. I’ve always loved the whole Sporty Chic style that some girls have down to a science. That effortless, cool girl, sporty look with the right amount of style and a lot of comfort. That’s the direction I was going in with this look. Army fatigue have been having a moment for the last couple of years now and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. For this look I went with the grey & black fatigue pants as opposed to the green ones everybody own (myself included). I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t throw a little glam into the mix, the faux fur I’ve had for awhile now & will continue to wear it until its worn out. Faux fur has got to be my favorite style coat to wear during the winter months, there was a time when I hated coats for the simple fact that they were big and bulky and hid my outfit LOL….however, I’ve had a change of heart. Now I’ll buy the most elaborate coat in the store just to make a subtle statement, the coat is like the appetizer while the outfit is the main course LMAO!

While I’ll always be a heels girl at heart I think its cool to switch things up from time to time, incorporating sneakers into my wardrobe was definitely a much needed change. I’ve noticed a lot of Fashion bloggers and street style stars have wearing sneakers with everything from skirts and jeans to ball gowns and suits, especially during NYFW, which I 100% stan! I cannot imagine running around for hours on end from show to show in 6 inch heels, that literally sounds like torture. Now don’t go and get all excited because this doesn’t cancel out heels all together for me, absolutely fucking not lol. There’s nothing sexier than a nice pair of pumps or thigh high boots (which both happen to be my favorite type of heel) BUT every now and again wearing a pair of sneakers is definitely clutch. I don’t even know who I am right now lol I think my main issue with wearing them often is my actual style, I’m the girl who’s 9 times out of 10 gonna over dress by nature…it’s really just who I am. Trying to make a sneaker work with a chic/glam outfit can sometimes become a little tricky but I’m up for the challenge. Do you have a go to comfortable shoe? Sneaker? I think I’ve found mine….*Goes and buy them in every color because that’s just who I am* LOL

Thanks for stopping by and remember, whatever you do, always do it with style.

Xx, Quita

Boyfriend jeans styled 3 different ways…

Blog

If I’m being completely honest jeans are probably my least favorite thing to wear…I know, I know, it’s weird right? But, it’s so true. I don’t know what it is but they’re so uncomfortable to me, it could be because I have trouble finding the perfect fit but they’re normally the last article of clothing I reach for when planning an outfit. If I must wear them I almost always choose a more relaxed boyfriend style, they’re my absolute favorite type of jeans. I currently own about 8 pairs and counting, although I’m sure that number will increase pretty soon lol. I prefer mine to be a little worn in and distressed so I usually always wear my oldest pair. I’ve owned this pair for almost a year now and have worn them multiple times in multiple ways. Of all the ones I own these are probably my favorite, I purchased them from H&M which is normally where I get most of my jeans. Comfortable is an understatement when it come to these, they get better and better with every wash. For this look I chose to pair them with a band tee and a blazer for that edgy cool girl look. Topped it off with a fedora and some Chucks and the look was basically complete. Another thing I’m completely in love with is Band Tee’s…I’ve lost count of how many I have at this point. If I could I’d wear a band tee and baggy jeans damn near everyday, it’s definitely my kind of vibe.First Look: Edgy

With the temperatures finally starting to cool down we’re right in the last days of summer, as a result your wardrobe definitely starts to change. I like to refer to this time of year as the “transition phase” simply because while Fall is near the temperatures doesn’t always reflect that right away. Sometimes it could possibly still be pretty warm/hot well into September, naming Fall the season for layering. I’ll admit I’ve never been the best at layering but I’ve always loved a good layered look. I remember back when the Olsen twins were big in the early 2000’s and they had that whole homeless lady chic look down to a science! I loveeedddddd it, I was walking around with a whole bunch of shit on trying my best to mimic an Olsen twin lol!

Although there’s not a whole lot of layering going on in this look it still gave me that boho chic kinda vibe, I think it has a lot to do with the long flowy top paired with the baggy distressed denim. That’s what I liked most about this outfit, the juxtaposition of the soft dainty top with the oversized ripped up bottoms. I threw on my jean jacket to kinda give it a little more dimension and viola! I had to refrain from adding more layers to this look because it was so hot and humid on this day, in the back of my mind I was thinking channel your inner Mary-Kate Olsen but in reality I was hot as fuck, lol.Second look: Chic

Now I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t throw a little sexy/glam in the mix…one thing I can say about my personal style is that it cannot be easily defined. I’m a moody person by nature (blame my moon/sun sign: Cancer) but my moodiness definitely plays a role when it comes to my sense of style. Depending on how I’m feeling that day you could very well see me out in sweats and a baseball hat OR 6 inch heels, faux fur, large dark sunnies and some sort of dress…it really all just depends on how I’m feeling that day or who I’m going to see…Lol. On this particular day I was feeling a little spicy, lol.

Although I prefer my blazers to be bigger than my actual size for these jeans the fit of this blazer worked, to balance out the bagginess on the bottom I kept it fitted on top. Disclaimer: I actually hate this blazer I feel so stuffed whenever I wear it lol I can barely fit anything underneath it (including my stomach after I’ve ate 😂) and still have room to button it up…AND it only has one button which drives me insane. I’ve been on the hunt for the perfect fit black blazer for YEARS now and have yet to come across one I’m completely in love with. I purchased this one last year from H&M and will probably give it away smh I just can’t. I did order yet another one recently and fingers crossed it will fit how I want it to. That’s always been the downside to online shopping; you can’t try shit on.I’ve been crushing on the Celine pillow bag this season but definitely not the price tag, so in true Marquita style I found a more affordable version. I found this one on Forever 21 and didn’t hesitate on buying it, I can’t remember what I paid exactly but I do remember it was on sale and under $20…stick with me guys I can make your buck stretch! These mules will be going with me right into Fall, they’re currently my favorite sandal of the moment. I’ve never been that girl who wore my toes out during the Fall but I’m feeling a little frisky this season…lol. Obviously I won’t be wearing sandals in the snow but in the early Fall I’m thinking, why not? I love how the material is some type of stretchy fabric making them easier to walk in. Look #3: Sexy

Making the most out of the pieces you already own is major key, I’m always so tempted to buy new stuff every year but that’s not always a boss move. Besides if you have true style you can totally revamp your wardrobe with a few small adjustments. Make your wardrobe work for you, not the other way around. So, which look was your fave?? I like them all but the first one is definitely my favorite, what can I say….I’m really just a cool edgy girl at heart lol. Let me know down below which one you’d recreate and if you don’t already you should get yourself a pair(s) of boyfriend jeans ASAP, you definitely won’t regret it! Thanks for stopping by and remember, whatever you do, always do it with style.

Xx, Quita