Skinny Black Girl In America

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So, let’s talk….

Happy Women’s History Month! I thought I’d start this month off in particular with a subject very near and dear to me, something I’ve been dealing with for most of my life. I’m sure it’s not hard to see that I am a petite woman, or as most would say “Skinny”. Growing up and all throughout school this was never something that caused me any trouble or was even a concern, I was a perfectly healthy child/teenager who happened to be on the “Skinny” side. It wasn’t until I was around 15 maybe 16 when I started to notice that all of my friends were growing into these bodies that had hips, breast and ass while my body on the other hand still looked the same way it did in the 9th grade. Although it still hadn’t become an issue at that point it was something I did take notice of. As time went on and I entered early adulthood that’s when the insecurities started to come into play, that’s when the insensitivity from others started to happen, that’s when I began to allow my environment to affect me.

I would hear all types of comments and rude remarks regarding my weight, things that I would unintentionally internalize. Being a smaller woman comes with it’s own set of problems BUT being a skinny black woman in the black community is a whole other fight. In a culture where big butts, breast & hips are placed on a pedestal I was trying to find where I fit in, I was trying to feel confident in my own body. I think people forget that body shaming doesn’t just mean you’re calling someone fat or overweight, body shaming is when you make a comment on someone’s weight, period. Whether it be a comment about someone being fat or skinny NEITHER IS OKAY and both can leave the same effect on someone. If it’s not, ‘Girl, do you even eat?” it’s “You’re soooooo tiny, how do you manage to stay so thin??” and while some people don’t mean much harm others are very intentional with their remarks. Rule of thumb, never comment on someone’s weight…it’s insensitive and it’s rude.

I tried EVERYTHING to gain weight and I mean everything. I watched countless Youtube videos on “How to gain weight fast” and while they did give a plethora of options none of them really worked for me. Not to mention the shit became expensive as hell, but I was so determined to gain some pounds (Ass & hips…judge ya mother) that the money didn’t even bother me. I tried it all from protein smoothies, protein shakes, increasing my caloric intake, Maca root, working out (chile I don’t know how y’all do that workout shit) and the infamous Apetamin. I would not recommend that Apetamin stuff to NO ONE, the side effects were just too much to deal with. I have seen women get great results with it but I refuse to drink that stuff again…but to each its own. I was over doing it trying to become something I simply am not and it wasn’t worth it. When it all balls down to it the most important thing you can do is love yourself no matter how big or small you are, no one is perfect and truth be told no one is ever satisfied. I know women who want to be smaller and women who want to be bigger. Women who want to add a little bit here and take a little bit away there. We’re either stuffing our faces trying to pile on calories or trying multiple diets trying to shed some pounds….there’s always something.

Love yourself just the way you’re, you’re beautiful and if you ever need a reminder I’m here to do just that! I still have my days BUT I snap out of that shit fast, I don’t dwell on it. I was made just the way I am supposed to be and so were you. I’ll leave you with this piece from 2016 I wrote on my tumblr (who else had a tumblr?) tumblr was and still is my favorite Social Media account….

It is never okay to ridicule or make insensitive comments about somebody’s body image. If I had a dollar for every time someone has made comments such as: “wow, do you eat?”, “you’re soooooo skinny”, “where are you gonna put all that food?”, “you should eat more”…..etc I’d literally have enough money to pay off my student loans. Understand that you’re never in a position to make comments on something you know nothing about. It is no different than when someone makes a fat joke and everybody laughs, the shit hurts. I have been living with myself long enough to know that I am a petite woman, I do not need you to remind me of this every chance you get. Just because somebody is different from you doesn’t make them unhealthy and more importantly it doesn’t put you in a position to judge. With age came a thicker skin when it comes to this, however I truly do hate when complete fucking strangers take it upon themselves to voice their opinions. Even after I give them the look of death they still will proceed to ask even more insulting questions. In a generation where fat ass’s, big breast and wide hips are glorified, especially in the black community, it is often frowned upon to be on the skinny side. Luckily, I could give a shit less but when you insult me oh then we will have a problem. Just like it’s not okay to say, “He/she is big as a house” it also isn’t okay to say, “He/she looks like a skeleton”. People need to mind their own business and grow the fuck up, period. Worry about your own grass and why it isn’t growing instead of worrying about why somebody look the way they do. Your rude comments could be the last straw for somebody before they snap on you or even themselves. So next time you decide to take it upon yourself to say something in reference to someone’s body weight do me a favor….don’t.

People will have opinions but you know what they say about those 😉. Don’t let anyone convince you that there is something wrong with you because there isn’t, there’s something wrong with them for believing they can tell you what to do with YOUR body! Healthy lifestyle changes are 100% okay but don’t let society convince you that there is something wrong with you, do it because you want to not because you feel like you have too.

Thanks for stopping by and remember, whatever you do, always do it with style…..and confidence!

Signed, A skinny black girl who eats more than an elephant :).

Xx, Quita

Casually Chic Summer

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From the moment I saw Rihanna wearing a slip dress out in public, with a wine glass in her hand, I was immediately intrigued…with her of course, but more so with the idea of wearing a nightie out in public. I couldn’t decide if I was more impressed with what she was wearing or the fact that she had a wine glass in her hand? Lol, nonetheless I’ve been obsessed with slip dresses ever since, I’ve been obsessed with Rihanna ever since ‘Pon’ de Replay’…where are all my day one Rihanna fans at? I’ve seen this trend all over social media and even dabbled in it a little myself. Have you read my, ’10 things I wish I knew before turning 30′ post? I wore one in that post too.What I love most about them is the versatility of them, they can be worn for so many different occasions. Am I going to bed? Out to dinner? Going to see bae? Is there even a bae?…Lol. Am I running errands? Going to Target? Attending an outdoor event? The possibilities are endless! The versatility gives you so many different styling options as well, they’re the type of garment that could easily be dressed up or down. This time around I chose to style it down and when I say this has to be one of my favorite looks of the summer, I mean just that. I am absolutely all about comfy, chic and practical styling. There was a time where you wouldn’t catch me dead in a pair of sneakers, now I am looking into purchasing a couple pairs. I’ve never been into flats let alone sneakers but there are a few I’ve been eyeing for awhile now.I purchased this pair from Go Jane and was completely in love with them when I received them. I hesitated while purchasing them simply because they weren’t a “name brand” but quickly stopped myself dead in my tracks…style has NEVER been about labels so what was I actually tripping about? After trying them on I immediately cursed myself for waiting so long to wear sneakers lol my feet gave me an instant sigh of relief. Since then I’ve worn them at least 4 times, we’re practically inseparable at this point lol. I knew that the next time I wore a slip dress I wanted to wear it with sneakers. I’ve been so into wearing dresses/skirts with sneakers lately…it’s like the perfect mix of edgy, chic & tomboy all wrapped up into one look. I’m so here for it!If you’re new here you may not know about my hat obsession but hats are hands down my absolute favorite accessory, fedoras in particular. During the Fall and Winter you really can’t keep me out of them, they’re a staple piece in my wardrobe. I’ve been on the hunt for a good quality fedora for years now, most of mine have been from Forever 21, H&M & lately Target. I want to invest in a good quality one this Fall, I wear mine a lot so I need one that can handle a lot of wear and last for years. I’ve been searching for a white, straw fedora with a wide black band for for the longest now, I love a good white hat during the summer months. I came across this one on Forever 21 on the humble and it definitely didn’t disappoint, it gives you that I’m on vacation in Cuba serving looks vibe.I don’t normally pay to much attention to trends but this one has probably been my favorite one this summer. I remember my grandmother would make me wear slips under my skirts/dresses as a child and I always hated it, now if I could I would wear one everyday lol. They’re just so effortlessly chic. Summer 2019 is winding down and I for one am so happy to see it go, it’s been a pretty bland summer for me. The most wonderful time of the year is quickly approaching guys and I couldn’t be more excited lol. Fall is creeping in and I’m sure all my fashion lovers can understand my level of excitement. Although my wardrobe is still being curated I’m happy to welcome the cooler temperatures. While shooting these photos I literally felt like my back was on fire 😩, it had to be 90+ degrees outside and the humidity was out of this world! It got to the point where I changed my location to a spot with more shade because I simply could not.

Side note: I took these photos by myself with people watching lol and I didn’t give a single fuck. Lol, if you know me you know how I feel about this, but I pushed right on through. Who else is counting down until Fall?? I know I am! Thanks for stopping by and remember, whatever you do, always do it with style.

Xx, Quita

Sunnies: Shein

Dress: Boohoo

Shoes: Go Jane

Bag & Hat: Forever 21

Creating your own lane

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When I finally decided to start my blog I brainstormed for awhile all the things I wanted to incorporate into it to make it true to me. What parts of myself should I include to differentiate this blog from all the others? This, for awhile, had me stumped…not because I didn’t know what I wanted to say but I didn’t know how much to share. We’re all multifaceted people with so many different sides and perspectives…it finally hit me that the secret ingredient was me. Not a single soul can do me better than I can and the same goes for everyone else. I think we get so caught up with how will we stand out that we forget that being yourself is simply enough, authenticity is always in style. I’m not a flower girl, at all, but sunflowers have held a special place in my heart for some time now. There’s something so bright and cheerful about having them around. Since I’m always struggling with hand placement during my shoots…I decided to add them to these photos for aesthetic purposes and for something to do with my hands lol. One thing I was 100% certain of was that I didn’t want this to just be a blog where I post pretty outfit photos and that’s it. I wanted to create a space where I could be myself freely, without limitations and judgement. I know there will be some people who judge regardless, and that’s not my problem, but I didn’t want to limit myself because of that. Yes, this is primarily a fashion blog but it’s important to me to still be able to have real conversations while connecting with my readers. I wanted to be able to write and be relatable all while looking fly.

Speaking of real lets talk about these little Debbie back rolls 🤦🏽‍♀️idk if it was the top or the way I was positioned but yeah… there they’re. I don’t know how to edit out back rolls so y’all gonna get them today lol. Real ass bish give a fuck about a back roll ( In my City Girls voice)

Lately I’ve become a big fan of A-Line skirts, with them being so comfortable and versatile there’s not much to dislike. The length has got to be my favorite thing about them, they’re not to long or short making them the perfect all occasions skirt. Me standing at 5 2′ definitely can appreciate a skirt that compliments my height. Long skirts can be such a hassle when they’re constantly dragging on the ground while short skirts are altogether a headache…both styles are cute but for a more relaxed fit I go with the A-Line style. This skirt in particular is so comfy and chic, the material is so lightweight making it the perfect skirt for the summer heat. I purchased both the skirt and bodysuit from Forever 21, prior to this I hadn’t shopped there in nearly a year. For me Forever 21 is either hit or miss, this time around definitely a hit but I’ve had enough misses to last a while lol. Style Tip: Do not buy their jeans, ever….Thank me later 😉. Forever 21 is one of those quick fashion places but good quality items are sometimes hard to come by. The bodysuit is super comfy and the material is a dream, I already want to rewear it again with some type of denim. It’s a little revealing while exposing lots of side boob but side boob ain’t never hurt nobody! That is if you’re apart of the B-cup crew lol otherwise I’d advise against it.

Being a creative can sometimes be mentally exhausting, there’s always an idea for something constantly running through my mind. Always trying to come up with new ways to create content while staying true to myself. It’s gotten to the point where sometimes I feel like I may go crazy if I don’t get these ideas out, even if it’s just jotting it down on a piece of paper so I don’t forget. Creative tip: When something comes to mind write it down as soon as you can, I cannot tell you how many times I’ve come up with ideas and totally forgot them by the time I thought about it later. I hate that! My notes in my phone are filled with ideas, I can always refer back to them when I’m in a creative block. In this creative field I think it’s so important to remember why you started and remain grounded, everyday won’t be a good one. Some days you’ll get a lot of views some days you’ll get two, it’s just the way things are. You’ll come to a couple bumps in the road but nothing you can’t get over. The good part about staying in your lane is there’s no traffic, so you can move at your own pace; stay consistent but don’t rush. You don’t have to worry about keeping up with the speed limit because there is none, you determine how slow or fast you’ll go. I’ve found quality over quantity to be the best strategy when it comes to blogging. This week I posted two posts, it maybe awhile before that happens again lol but my point is this is my space, my pace. Don’t let the internet rush you, there’s nothing worse then promoting crappy content just to keep up with the Jonses. I know I haven’t been doing this long but I do appreciate the ones who do read it and even message me complimenting me, y’all the shit! Some people will support you others will pretend they don’t see you, either way keep doing your thing. Hard work and consistency always pays off in the end, it’s your lane, let them catch up eventually. Thanks for stopping by and remember, whatever you do, always do it with style.

Xx, Quita