Bloggerversary/ Happy New Year

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Hey girl hey! Let me first start off by saying Happy New Year, Happy Black History Month, happy new president, happy new black female Vice President & happy 2 yr Bloggerversary to me. I took these photos back in early December with the sole purpose of posting them for my Bloggerversary which was mid December. To be completely honest I didn’t like these photos at first, 🤦🏽‍♀️ I’m not sure why but they ended up being pushed into my “maybe I’ll use them someday” file. Fast forward to the end of January and a couple edits later and I finally had a change of heart & thought to myself, now why would I never let these photos see the light of day? They’re actually cute and somebody gonna see these photos! Lol

When I thought about what I wanted to shoot to commemorate my 2nd year of blogging, I thought about how we’ve been stuck indoors for most of the year and decided I’d shoot something inside. I was largely influenced by the “Instagram photo shoots” I’ve been seeing all over Instagram as well as Pinterest and decided to do that instead of shooting outdoors. All the influencer’s have been throwing up a sheet and adding cute little props while shooting in their own homes, since we’re technically still in the middle of a pandemic and should still be inside. I’m not even gonna lie I wasn’t the most efficient this past year when it came to blogging and I blame that on Ms Corona, she definitely came in and showed her entire ass (and still is if we’re being honest)😒. I work in healthcare on the front line and I’ve had some incredibly stressful days while working during this pandemic, to the point where my blog was probably the last thing on my mind. Besides that there wasn’t much to shoot being we were stuck in the house wearing lounge wear, stuffing our faces and increasing our wine intake. I figured the last thing anybody cared about was fashion (surprisingly myself included) so I didn’t blog for most of the time we were in quarantine…

The thing with that is I am naturally a creative person, fashion for me is not just about getting dressed up and looking fly. I wish it were that easy but for me it’s an outlet, it’s a lifestyle and sometimes when I’m in a slump, it’s a lifesaver. It keeps me sane, it allows me to take all my energy and use it to create and that is something I will never take for granted. I literally couldn’t imagine not being a creative person…whew how boring. I’ve been blogging for over two years now and even if not a single soul reads my posts I’ll still create, I’ll still write, because in the end it is for me. It’ll always be for me, first.

So with that mentality I went into Home Depot and purchased a sheet that costs me less than $10, pulled out all my 2020 Vogues, reached for my favorite accessory (a wine glass) and boom! The set up looked like something straight off of Pinterest, LOL. Now for the fit I went with this Nasty Gal double breasted pinstripe suit that I am absolutely obsessed with! Funny Story: I purchased these pants first (months before I even saw the blazer) with no particular look in mind but I thought they were too good not to get. They’re SUPER long and me standing at a strong 5 2’ I was drowning in them 😂.

Where are my feet? 👀😂

Even with the heels on I was standing on these damn pants 😩, I started to get some hemming tape but I didn’t. I couldn’t imagine wearing these out and walking on the bottoms all day, not to mention I absolutely hate when my pants drag the ground. Like I HATE IT, it’s so gross to me when they get all dirty and damp from being on the ground 🤢…I’ll throw the pants away. Lol. Now while the pants tried to embarrass me the blazer is another story! This blazer is so perfect, it fits great and is double breasted. I ended up getting the blazer after I already had the pants and the two were obviously meant to be. I’m not even sure why I didn’t see it when I purchased the pants but whatever, better late than never. The two paired together is such a match made in fashion heaven.

So we’re already into the second month of 2021 and I’ll say it’s pretty much been 2020 reloaded 😂. The highlight for me so far has been the Inauguration that recently took place. That had to be the most stylish, eye pleasing, Inauguration I’ve ever watched! Like I stated in a previous post, your political views are just that, yours and none of my concern BUT you have to admit that the girls did not come to play this year! The star of the show for me was my forever First Lady Michelle Obama wearing that plum/burgundy Sergio Hudson outfit! Baby when I tell you I had to contain my excitement when her and President Obama walked in because I was at work, whew! I mean the hair, the fit, the confidence, the walk…ughhhh she definitely ate the girls up!! Another favorite look of mine was first daughter Ashley Biden’s tuxedo she wore with the undone bow tie! I was in freaking love 😍, it’s no secret that I am a suit wearer/lover and the undone bow tie was the icing on the cake. I mean a fashion rebel in the White House is definitely a breath of fresh air and I am soooooooo here for it! Oh and let’s not forget President Biden’s grandchildren served lewkssssss honey but the young lady that wore the dress with the Jordan 1’s holds a special place on my best dressed list 🙌🏽. And while we’re on the subject I know I wasn’t the only one who peeped the man running down the steps in the Dior 1’s…I mean y’all know those are my favorite sneaker EVER and to see them during the Inauguration was iconic!

How has 2021 been for you so far? I mean I don’t even count January ever because it’s always some leftover bullshit from the previous year lingering around in January. Not to mention January ALWAYS seems like the longest month of the year or is that just me?? IDK but we’re in February which is black history month (although black history is all fucking year) and I’m rooting for everybody black (word to Issa)! Now that January is history let’s really start the new year…

Until next time

Xx, Quita

The single girls guide to the holidays

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Hey girl hey! So, we’re exactly one month away from Christmas and just a few hours away from Thanksgiving which officially kicks off the holiday season! As I’ve gotten older I’ve become a lot less enthusiastic for the holidays but I wouldn’t consider myself to be the grinch either, LOL. For the single woman the holidays can become a tad bit lonely ( I blame all those cheesy Hallmark Christmas movies where the woman falls madly in love on Thanksgiving, is engaged on Christmas & married by New Years Day 🥴). We watch these movies with a glass(s) of wine secretly cursing every fuck boy that has ever wasted our time. No date for Thanksgiving dinner…again (your family is secretly judging you for this😭), no kissing under the mistletoe, no New Years kiss at 12 and while we’re on the subject we might as well include Valentine’s Day too. No chocolate and teddy bear or whatever y’all be accepting as gifts, LOL. I know this can suck but it doesn’t have too…I’ve listed 5 things you can do to ease the holiday scaries 😂. Now unless I meet a tall, dark, handsome, nice smile, good smelling, nicely dressed man in Target today ( in which case I Am no longer single LOL) we’re in this together 😂.

Let’s face it no matter how much you try to hide the holidays are coming so you might as well enjoy them. When your family asks you who you’re bringing to dinner tell them your outfit 😂 because a fabulous outfit is much better than a fuck boy you’re probably only entertaining because you’re bored. That way they won’t be giving you the side eye when you show up next year with a completely different person because that will be your future husband (I’m speaking this over yours as well as my life)! So, here’s my top 5 ways to deal with the stress of the upcoming weeks.

  • Host a Friendsgiving! I’ve always wanted to do this but just haven’t gotten around to it. I don’t know who thought of this but I think it’s a pretty cool idea. We’re certainly thankful for our friends too, especially the ones who listen to us complain over and over again about the same guy. Lol. We’re usually with our families on the actual holiday so why not have a separate shin dig with our friends.
  • Have a secret Santa gift exchange between you and a few close friends. It doesn’t have to be super expensive because it’s always the thought that count. Maybe you and your girls could get all dressed up and go to brunch to exchange gifts. Set a price limit for the gift and toast over bottomless mimosas!
  • Host a Christmas party! Something small and intimate while keeping COVID-19 in mind you can still have something for a small amount of close friends. This can be an ugly sweater party or even a pajama party. My family and I have a Christmas pajama party every year on Christmas Eve. We wear our Christmas pjs, bake cookies, watch Christmas movies and drink spiked egg nog, LOL. It’s a tradition for us!
  • Buy yourself something nice! I know we’re supposed to be shopping for others and we will but don’t forget about yourself! You deserve gifts just as much as the next person. If you don’t have a man to buy you those shoes or that bag you really want then buy 👏🏽 it 👏🏽 for 👏🏽 your 👏🏽 self.! You’ll appreciate it more when you can do it for yourself.
  • Love on yourself! This is especially important during times of increased stress, this can look like different things for different people but it all balls down to self care. Make sure you’re taking extra good care of yourself during the holiday season. On top of everything else going on in the world the holidays can become hectic. From dealing with family members you only see during the holidays, stressing over buying the perfect gift(s), to seeing all the “happy” couples on your socials celebrating together it can get tough BUT you got this!

*Bonus tip*

  • Use all the money you saved from NOT buying a PS5 or whatever these men are asking for these days to book a trip! LOL. Being single during the holidays only really means more money in your pocket and who doesn’t like money? I’ll wait 😂.

Let’s be honest though we all have that one sneaky link who could possibly be bae but you know….options, LOL. Happy Holiday Season!

Until next time

Xx, Quita

Skinny Black Girl In America

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So, let’s talk….

Happy Women’s History Month! I thought I’d start this month off in particular with a subject very near and dear to me, something I’ve been dealing with for most of my life. I’m sure it’s not hard to see that I am a petite woman, or as most would say “Skinny”. Growing up and all throughout school this was never something that caused me any trouble or was even a concern, I was a perfectly healthy child/teenager who happened to be on the “Skinny” side. It wasn’t until I was around 15 maybe 16 when I started to notice that all of my friends were growing into these bodies that had hips, breast and ass while my body on the other hand still looked the same way it did in the 9th grade. Although it still hadn’t become an issue at that point it was something I did take notice of. As time went on and I entered early adulthood that’s when the insecurities started to come into play, that’s when the insensitivity from others started to happen, that’s when I began to allow my environment to affect me.

I would hear all types of comments and rude remarks regarding my weight, things that I would unintentionally internalize. Being a smaller woman comes with it’s own set of problems BUT being a skinny black woman in the black community is a whole other fight. In a culture where big butts, breast & hips are placed on a pedestal I was trying to find where I fit in, I was trying to feel confident in my own body. I think people forget that body shaming doesn’t just mean you’re calling someone fat or overweight, body shaming is when you make a comment on someone’s weight, period. Whether it be a comment about someone being fat or skinny NEITHER IS OKAY and both can leave the same effect on someone. If it’s not, ‘Girl, do you even eat?” it’s “You’re soooooo tiny, how do you manage to stay so thin??” and while some people don’t mean much harm others are very intentional with their remarks. Rule of thumb, never comment on someone’s weight…it’s insensitive and it’s rude.

I tried EVERYTHING to gain weight and I mean everything. I watched countless Youtube videos on “How to gain weight fast” and while they did give a plethora of options none of them really worked for me. Not to mention the shit became expensive as hell, but I was so determined to gain some pounds (Ass & hips…judge ya mother) that the money didn’t even bother me. I tried it all from protein smoothies, protein shakes, increasing my caloric intake, Maca root, working out (chile I don’t know how y’all do that workout shit) and the infamous Apetamin. I would not recommend that Apetamin stuff to NO ONE, the side effects were just too much to deal with. I have seen women get great results with it but I refuse to drink that stuff again…but to each its own. I was over doing it trying to become something I simply am not and it wasn’t worth it. When it all balls down to it the most important thing you can do is love yourself no matter how big or small you are, no one is perfect and truth be told no one is ever satisfied. I know women who want to be smaller and women who want to be bigger. Women who want to add a little bit here and take a little bit away there. We’re either stuffing our faces trying to pile on calories or trying multiple diets trying to shed some pounds….there’s always something.

Love yourself just the way you’re, you’re beautiful and if you ever need a reminder I’m here to do just that! I still have my days BUT I snap out of that shit fast, I don’t dwell on it. I was made just the way I am supposed to be and so were you. I’ll leave you with this piece from 2016 I wrote on my tumblr (who else had a tumblr?) tumblr was and still is my favorite Social Media account….

It is never okay to ridicule or make insensitive comments about somebody’s body image. If I had a dollar for every time someone has made comments such as: “wow, do you eat?”, “you’re soooooo skinny”, “where are you gonna put all that food?”, “you should eat more”…..etc I’d literally have enough money to pay off my student loans. Understand that you’re never in a position to make comments on something you know nothing about. It is no different than when someone makes a fat joke and everybody laughs, the shit hurts. I have been living with myself long enough to know that I am a petite woman, I do not need you to remind me of this every chance you get. Just because somebody is different from you doesn’t make them unhealthy and more importantly it doesn’t put you in a position to judge. With age came a thicker skin when it comes to this, however I truly do hate when complete fucking strangers take it upon themselves to voice their opinions. Even after I give them the look of death they still will proceed to ask even more insulting questions. In a generation where fat ass’s, big breast and wide hips are glorified, especially in the black community, it is often frowned upon to be on the skinny side. Luckily, I could give a shit less but when you insult me oh then we will have a problem. Just like it’s not okay to say, “He/she is big as a house” it also isn’t okay to say, “He/she looks like a skeleton”. People need to mind their own business and grow the fuck up, period. Worry about your own grass and why it isn’t growing instead of worrying about why somebody look the way they do. Your rude comments could be the last straw for somebody before they snap on you or even themselves. So next time you decide to take it upon yourself to say something in reference to someone’s body weight do me a favor….don’t.

People will have opinions but you know what they say about those 😉. Don’t let anyone convince you that there is something wrong with you because there isn’t, there’s something wrong with them for believing they can tell you what to do with YOUR body! Healthy lifestyle changes are 100% okay but don’t let society convince you that there is something wrong with you, do it because you want to not because you feel like you have too.

Thanks for stopping by and remember, whatever you do, always do it with style…..and confidence!

Signed, A skinny black girl who eats more than an elephant :).

Xx, Quita