Skinny Black Girl In America

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So, let’s talk….

Happy Women’s History Month! I thought I’d start this month off in particular with a subject very near and dear to me, something I’ve been dealing with for most of my life. I’m sure it’s not hard to see that I am a petite woman, or as most would say “Skinny”. Growing up and all throughout school this was never something that caused me any trouble or was even a concern, I was a perfectly healthy child/teenager who happened to be on the “Skinny” side. It wasn’t until I was around 15 maybe 16 when I started to notice that all of my friends were growing into these bodies that had hips, breast and ass while my body on the other hand still looked the same way it did in the 9th grade. Although it still hadn’t become an issue at that point it was something I did take notice of. As time went on and I entered early adulthood that’s when the insecurities started to come into play, that’s when the insensitivity from others started to happen, that’s when I began to allow my environment to affect me.

I would hear all types of comments and rude remarks regarding my weight, things that I would unintentionally internalize. Being a smaller woman comes with it’s own set of problems BUT being a skinny black woman in the black community is a whole other fight. In a culture where big butts, breast & hips are placed on a pedestal I was trying to find where I fit in, I was trying to feel confident in my own body. I think people forget that body shaming doesn’t just mean you’re calling someone fat or overweight, body shaming is when you make a comment on someone’s weight, period. Whether it be a comment about someone being fat or skinny NEITHER IS OKAY and both can leave the same effect on someone. If it’s not, ‘Girl, do you even eat?” it’s “You’re soooooo tiny, how do you manage to stay so thin??” and while some people don’t mean much harm others are very intentional with their remarks. Rule of thumb, never comment on someone’s weight…it’s insensitive and it’s rude.

I tried EVERYTHING to gain weight and I mean everything. I watched countless Youtube videos on “How to gain weight fast” and while they did give a plethora of options none of them really worked for me. Not to mention the shit became expensive as hell, but I was so determined to gain some pounds (Ass & hips…judge ya mother) that the money didn’t even bother me. I tried it all from protein smoothies, protein shakes, increasing my caloric intake, Maca root, working out (chile I don’t know how y’all do that workout shit) and the infamous Apetamin. I would not recommend that Apetamin stuff to NO ONE, the side effects were just too much to deal with. I have seen women get great results with it but I refuse to drink that stuff again…but to each its own. I was over doing it trying to become something I simply am not and it wasn’t worth it. When it all balls down to it the most important thing you can do is love yourself no matter how big or small you are, no one is perfect and truth be told no one is ever satisfied. I know women who want to be smaller and women who want to be bigger. Women who want to add a little bit here and take a little bit away there. We’re either stuffing our faces trying to pile on calories or trying multiple diets trying to shed some pounds….there’s always something.

Love yourself just the way you’re, you’re beautiful and if you ever need a reminder I’m here to do just that! I still have my days BUT I snap out of that shit fast, I don’t dwell on it. I was made just the way I am supposed to be and so were you. I’ll leave you with this piece from 2016 I wrote on my tumblr (who else had a tumblr?) tumblr was and still is my favorite Social Media account….

It is never okay to ridicule or make insensitive comments about somebody’s body image. If I had a dollar for every time someone has made comments such as: “wow, do you eat?”, “you’re soooooo skinny”, “where are you gonna put all that food?”, “you should eat more”…..etc I’d literally have enough money to pay off my student loans. Understand that you’re never in a position to make comments on something you know nothing about. It is no different than when someone makes a fat joke and everybody laughs, the shit hurts. I have been living with myself long enough to know that I am a petite woman, I do not need you to remind me of this every chance you get. Just because somebody is different from you doesn’t make them unhealthy and more importantly it doesn’t put you in a position to judge. With age came a thicker skin when it comes to this, however I truly do hate when complete fucking strangers take it upon themselves to voice their opinions. Even after I give them the look of death they still will proceed to ask even more insulting questions. In a generation where fat ass’s, big breast and wide hips are glorified, especially in the black community, it is often frowned upon to be on the skinny side. Luckily, I could give a shit less but when you insult me oh then we will have a problem. Just like it’s not okay to say, “He/she is big as a house” it also isn’t okay to say, “He/she looks like a skeleton”. People need to mind their own business and grow the fuck up, period. Worry about your own grass and why it isn’t growing instead of worrying about why somebody look the way they do. Your rude comments could be the last straw for somebody before they snap on you or even themselves. So next time you decide to take it upon yourself to say something in reference to someone’s body weight do me a favor….don’t.

People will have opinions but you know what they say about those 😉. Don’t let anyone convince you that there is something wrong with you because there isn’t, there’s something wrong with them for believing they can tell you what to do with YOUR body! Healthy lifestyle changes are 100% okay but don’t let society convince you that there is something wrong with you, do it because you want to not because you feel like you have too.

Thanks for stopping by and remember, whatever you do, always do it with style…..and confidence!

Signed, A skinny black girl who eats more than an elephant :).

Xx, Quita

So I’ve got a confession, I’ve been cheating….

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If you remember back to last summer when I made a post titled ‘Casually Chic Summer‘ where I wore a slip dress with sneakers, I mentioned in that post how I wanted to get into wearing sneakers; how I’ve had my eye on a couple pairs. Of them these have been my favorite go to sneaker of all time, I have NEVER been a sneaker girl let alone a Jordan wearer but the 1’s have always stood out to me. I think what I like most about them is the sleekness of them, how they can easily be dressed up or down and works either way. The variation of colors is probably my favorite thing about them, over the years they have came in so many different colors from the classic red, white & black ones to the ones I have on, they literally have a ton of color combinations. I knew if was going to spend my coins on a pair of sneakers they had to be perfect, they had to be versatile, they had to be the Jordan 1’s.

I purchased my first pair about three years ago and didn’t purchase another until recently, although I liked the shoe I felt awkward in them LOL only because I am so used to wearing heels that I felt weird in sneakers. In a sense I felt as if I were cheating on my heels with sneakers, hence the title of this post LMAO. I tried to wear them maybe 3 times before I put them back in the box never to be seen again, that is until recently when I started to see them everywhere and remembered the pair I had shoved in the back of my closet. I wasn’t really in love with those so like any shopaholic would do I went online and purchased two new pairs in different colors to start my collection LOL. I was drawn to the boldness of the blue in these and how they could go with a lot of things I own, I’m not really into colors but if I do wear color its something dark for sure!

I don’t know whats gotten into me lately (probably the knees/ankles of a 35 yr old who’s been wearing heels since middle school) but all I’ve been wanting to wear lately is practical shoes, shoes that don’t make my feet hurt and ankles swell. I’ve always loved the whole Sporty Chic style that some girls have down to a science. That effortless, cool girl, sporty look with the right amount of style and a lot of comfort. That’s the direction I was going in with this look. Army fatigue have been having a moment for the last couple of years now and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. For this look I went with the grey & black fatigue pants as opposed to the green ones everybody own (myself included). I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t throw a little glam into the mix, the faux fur I’ve had for awhile now & will continue to wear it until its worn out. Faux fur has got to be my favorite style coat to wear during the winter months, there was a time when I hated coats for the simple fact that they were big and bulky and hid my outfit LOL….however, I’ve had a change of heart. Now I’ll buy the most elaborate coat in the store just to make a subtle statement, the coat is like the appetizer while the outfit is the main course LMAO!

While I’ll always be a heels girl at heart I think its cool to switch things up from time to time, incorporating sneakers into my wardrobe was definitely a much needed change. I’ve noticed a lot of Fashion bloggers and street style stars have wearing sneakers with everything from skirts and jeans to ball gowns and suits, especially during NYFW, which I 100% stan! I cannot imagine running around for hours on end from show to show in 6 inch heels, that literally sounds like torture. Now don’t go and get all excited because this doesn’t cancel out heels all together for me, absolutely fucking not lol. There’s nothing sexier than a nice pair of pumps or thigh high boots (which both happen to be my favorite type of heel) BUT every now and again wearing a pair of sneakers is definitely clutch. I don’t even know who I am right now lol I think my main issue with wearing them often is my actual style, I’m the girl who’s 9 times out of 10 gonna over dress by nature…it’s really just who I am. Trying to make a sneaker work with a chic/glam outfit can sometimes become a little tricky but I’m up for the challenge. Do you have a go to comfortable shoe? Sneaker? I think I’ve found mine….*Goes and buy them in every color because that’s just who I am* LOL

Thanks for stopping by and remember, whatever you do, always do it with style.

Xx, Quita

Defining your personal Style

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Hey guys! Happy New Year, new decade, Black History Month…allllllldat. I think we all can agree that January is ALWAYS the longest, cruelest, most trying month of the year for everyone. I made a mental note to start my new year in February because every January is always a flop lol so I officially started my 2020 on February 1st :). With the start of the year I decided to take a closer look at my wardrobe and kinda dissect what needed to stay and what needed to go, over the years I’ve collected more clothes than I have room for (mentally & physically) LOL. I think before I could successfully begin to get rid of items I no longer have any use for, I needed to actually determine what no longer fits my style? Then it got me to thinking, What is my style? How would I describe my style? I didn’t necessarily draw a blank but I did get a sudden rush of anxiety.

When I think of my own style the first word that comes to mind is moody, my style literally changes depending on my mood, And that changes A LOT people…A LOT LOL. Narrowing down your style can be somewhat of a challenge if it changes depending on the day of the week but I think what can help with that is determining what you wouldn’t wear. While I do dress according to my mood there are somethings that are simply out of my style realm, some styles/trends just don’t do if for me. One trend I’ve been completely in love with are combat boots, they’ve been all over social media and I have been absolutely obsessed. It started with the Prada combat boots which are to die for but with a price tag of around $1,450.00 I knew I had to find an alternative LMAO. Shortly after all the street style stars popped up with the Prada’s on their feet I knew it would be only a matter of time before the dupes started to surface…and I was right. The dupes were everywhere from ASOS to Zara but I snagged mine from a site called Dolls Kill and I am so pleased with them! I’ve always been into edgy style or adding edgy items to an outfit to give it an extra boost, something to take an already popping outfit to the next level. Statement pieces or conversation starters as I like to call them, will always be my go to when styling a basic look. While this look is far from basic I think all the pieces could be a conversation starter on their own but together the outfit stands out even more without being too much.

Style to me is a very personal thing, style is what make you stand out in a crowd. I recently captioned one of my Instagram photos, ‘Fashion is what you buy, style is what you do with it’ and that couldn’t be any more true. There are some people who believe wearing designer items or dressing in head to toe designer is considered style and I cringe every time I see it. Style is going into a thrift store or say a Forever 21 and killing off every designer wearing person in the room with your inexpensive/stylish outfit. Not to say that designer items aren’t stylish because if I had the coins to drop on them Prada boots mama would have them BUT wearing designer doesn’t automatically equal style…in my opinion. It takes true style to take pieces and put them together in such a way that people think you’ve spent a lot when in reality you hardly broke bank. I think this is definitely one if my strong points when it comes to my personal style, this is where I thrive. So the question still stands….how would I describe my personal style?

I’m gonna go with Edgy/chic…most of the time all my looks are pulled together nicely with a touch of edge or some type of unexpected twist. I’ve always been drawn to edgy fashion…Streetstyle is hands down my absolute favorite type of Style, I think the best style is on the street. Not the runways, not the stores, not the boutiques but on the actual street. I think when somebody is unapologetically themselves with their style it shows and there’s really no better place to see this then the streets. One of the best times to catch some dope Streetstyle is NYFW which has begun! The best of the best will be running through the streets of New York in their finest garments trying to have their photograph taken. Speaking of which I definitely have NYFW (September) on my 2020 vision board & I’m hoping that the universe looks out for ya girl (fingers crossed)!! I’m sure the net will be buzzing with the runway shows, backstage access & streetstyle…which is my favorite part.

So I’ll leave you with the same question, how would you describe your style? I think the most important things to keep in mind when answering this question is this: What do you feel most comfortable in? Confident in? Whats the first article(s) of clothing you reach for when it’s time to get dressed? What do you have a lot of in your wardrobe? Are you more of a dress up or dress down type of person? So many factors can determine ones personal style but the most important thing to keep in mind is that it is 100% yours, so always wear what makes you the happiest and most confident! Also bear in mind that trends change constantly so don’t always base your style on a trend, trust me you’ll be all over the place trying to keep up. Trends are cool to play with but having a solid style that is true to you is key, that way you can incorporate a particular trend into your style making it your own. And whenever you grow tired of your current style switch it up, no one said you had to stick to one particular style for the rest of your life. Trust me there was a period in my life when I was a full out punk rocker with the spiked choker to match lmao….yep imagine that but life is to short to wear boring clothes!!

Thanks for stopping by and remember, whatever you do, always do it with style.

Xx Quita